Overcoming Adversity: How to Thrive in Any Difficult Situation

So, you've been thinking your life is a mess! It's not. It certainly feels like it is, but it's really just in a state of restructure and re-adjustment. You're feeling like everything is falling apart because that's the feedback you're getting from the actions you've taken in your life...to this point. Simply put, you're being told you're on the wrong path.

Here's the thing....what you've been doing, isn't working.

What's Really Going On?

Understanding what adversity means actually helps you deal with it better. Have you ever heard people say, "If I just knew what was going to happen (keeping your job vs. being let go), I could deal with it much better." You may not know the outcome of a situation, and not knowing is certainly the cause of much unnecessary stress, but understanding the reason or cause of a situation WILL open the door to your answers.

Adversity comes into our lives as feedback that you're on the wrong path - your decisions, your choices, your actions, your behaviors.

How Can I Use This Knowledge to My Advantage?

The most common type of adversity, is the one you experience when you're on the wrong path. This happens when your choices, your actions and your behaviors are different from what would better serve you to get what you want.

Brian had made it a habit to put away 10% of his income away until he had a nest egg equal to 6 months living expenses. This is a sound principle his father had taught him. However, when a great deal came up on a boat he wanted to buy, he dipped into his reserve fund and purchased it. Him and his wife had great jobs and life was good. He told himself he could build up the fund at a later time. As time went on, the cost to run and maintain the boat became greater and greater and he started charging on his credit cards. Then he lost his job when his company downsized. This was his first message to make changes. As his stress grew, he charged even more on his credit cards. Eventually, his debt was unmanageable, their savings were gone, and his relationship with his wife was suffering. He wasn't paying attention to the feedback in his life.

Brian woke up to the message that his choices, actions and behaviors were not getting him closer to the financial independence and stability he wanted. He made some changes and started paying attention to his feedback. Now he has a new job - better pay, better work, better hours. He managed to keep his home and improve his relationship with his wife. Brian attributes this turn around in his life to becoming aware of the messages he receives - the feedback - and taking right action for different results. The boat? Well, he sold that, put the proceeds in his reserve account, and set a goal to buy a sail boat in the next 10 years - one that both he and his wife will enjoy and fits in his financial plan.

How Do I Overcome the Adversity in My Life?

Understand that adversity will always be a part of your life. You can choose to allow it to help you learn and grow, or let it stop you from living the life that you want. It takes courage and the belief that anything placed in your path can be overcome. You can! You just need to believe it. Here are some steps to take when you find yourself confronting adversity.

Acknowledge the adversity. Sweeping adversity of any kind under the carpet just means you'll be dealing with a bigger mess in the future. Acknowledge it's something you have to deal with now.

Take responsibility. This one change in mindset will naturally put your subconscious mind into solution mode. If you're open to solutions, you're not brooding about the problem.

Brainstorm. Make a list of everything you can think of that you can do to overcome the adversity. Write down anything that comes to mind, however silly it may seem. By taking a solution approach, you're telling your subconscious mind that you are open to possibilities that you haven't considered. Please note - this exercise isn't meant for you to come up with the definitive solution. It's an exercise in mindset shifting.

Take Action. Take any one item from your list and act on it now. If that means making a phone call for more information, do it. It may also mean asking someone else for help. Whatever it is, taking action sends a message to your subconscious mind that says you're in solution mode and ready to overcome this adversity.

Listen to your intuition. Your subconscious mind knows you're serious about finding a solution that moves you past this adversity. It will go to work on possibilities that you may not have readily thought of.

Be open to your intuitive nudges - that unscheduled stop on the way home from work, that phone call to an associate you haven't talked to in some time, buying that new book a friend just told you about. These are messages pointing you in the right direction.

Trust and believe. This is the hardest part for many people. You would think it's coded in our DNA to worry over things and create stress in our lives. We know it to be a learned behavior - this means it can be unlearned, or rather swapped with trust and belief. Trust that your answers will come and be open to receiving them. Believe that all that is happening in your life, good and not so good, is there to serve you. That means that all is well, all is as it should be.

Give thanks. When times are particularly rough for us, it's hardest to express gratitude for the blessings in our lives. Often, it's because we're focusing on all the negative things. Turn your focus to what you genuinely feel grateful for - your family, a warm house, food on the table, your friends, your pets - you get the picture. Gratitude is a powerful force that when practiced daily, from the heart, has the power to bring miracles into your life.

All the adversity we experience is here to help us learn and grow, and most importantly, to become the person who we want to be, doing the things we love to do, having the things and experiences as a result of who we've become. This is the path in life for every one of us. Awareness of the meaning of adversity opens up the tool box of solutions to overcome them. You're humbled when you break through the barrier of adversity because you see the simplicity of the lesson learned and what a gift it has been to have experienced it.