The last few weeks have been all about opening to changes and possibilities. What I learned is how desperately we like to cling to what is familiar even when we know we don’t like it and we are yearning for something different. These insights came to me most unexpectedly as I undertook the project of redesigning my office.
I have essentially hated my desk and my office for as long as I’ve owned this house (that is over 9 years now). Of course initially it wasn’t really an office, but for the last four years it has been home base for my business and it is almost embarrassing to admit I tolerated it for so long.
Now that I am full time in my business and I am spending untold hours in there it was time to give it a big bad overhaul. I couldn’t see what was possible for the space, though, only what I hated and a truckload of excuses why I couldn’t have the office I want in this house. That’s when it pays to open my mouth and ask for help.
I had two friends and colleagues over for dinner in late December and asked them their opinion on what I could do with the space. They are successful entrepreneurs that I respect greatly and they are in tune with the energetic aspect of living spaces so I knew they’d have ideas congruent with what I really desired. And boy did they! They had awesome suggestions. I am so grateful. What was most interesting to me though was just how resistant inside I was to hearing suggestions. While I kept my mouth shut I could just physically feel my resistance and hear talk in my head about "well that can’t change" or "that’ll never work". Now I cannot even put leftovers in the right size container so who am I to have any opinion on whether or not furniture will fit right in a given space? I just kept breathing and listening.
Great coaches that they are, they asked me to sit at my desk and mention what the first thing I saw or thought about was. I said "bills, I need to pay the bills". Not a very inspiring, creative first thought right? Then they asked me what feelings I felt as I sat at my desk. What poured forth were words like: restricted, overwhelmed, constrained, blocked, stuck, and frustrated. You don’t have to be a genius to discern that these are not the feelings and energy I want to be mired in as I create what I want from my business and nurture it to grow to new levels, right?
I got an "aha" at that point and realized I need to stay open to what is possible in the space instead of clinging to my reluctance to change. I might note that this experience is one more reminder about the value of having a coach (even if you are a coach). Because the bottom line is that we can’t see what we can’t see when it comes to our situations and it often takes a trained, talented, unattached other person to guide us. Think about it - if it were my partner or my mother telling me the same exact things, I would’ve dismissed them outright or cut them off at the knees as they were expressing their thoughts. Why? Because we have preconceived opinions and almost programmed reactions to people close to us. We are often more closed to hearing what those we love have to say because of all the emotions, dynamics, and baggage that go along with the relationship.
I left this little brief brainstorming jam session on my office totally energized and inspired (even if a bit scared, resistant, and doubtful) to make it happen. Of course the holidays hit and the project had to be delayed a bit, but I started making small changes right away. They were nice small changes that I could try out and undo if I felt they weren’t right (this gave me a lot of security and the courage to move forward powerfully and in fact I never looked back as it ended up). The results were breathtaking. Here I hadn’t even started moving furniture yet and new business opportunities presented themselves as I suddenly felt more comfortable in my surroundings and dare I say more confident as I claimed my new office space vision.
The weekend after the holidays, we took the project on full force. Prior to the weekend I spent a good 10 hours preparing. Then, that weekend my partner and I worked two 15 hour days nonstop except to eat. We thoroughly went through every last piece of paper and every inch of the space. We moved everything out, and then redesigned the room from scratch. It was a hell of a lot of work, but the results were awesome! I now LOVE my space. It feels and looks so much better than ever and it is far more functional than before. I enjoy being in the space and instead of feeling drained, fearful, and stuck I feel energized, positive, and creative. Opportunities, ideas, and productivity are at an all time high and it feels much more effortless and easy. The icing on the cake is the affirmation and reminder that making the changes on the inside and translating them into action does indeed bring bottom line results. This isn’t just some airy fairy feel good idea. It brings tangible results (and yes that includes money).
Where are you yearning for a long overdo change? What little step can you take to set aside your resistance and listen to the answers that are out there waiting for you? How can you set yourself up to take the change for a test drive while keeping an initial safety net there to bolster your willingness to try it out?
If you’re not sure, just contact me and I’m happy to spend some complimentary time with you co-creating the next best steps for you.
Paula Gregorowicz, owner of The Paula G. Company, works with women who feel angry & frustrated with having to compromise who they are in order to get what they want. She coaches them to learn how to be comfortable in their own skin anytime, anywhere so they can live life by their own design and remain true to their personal integrity. To learn more visit her website at www.thepaulagcompany.com.
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