Massages are easy to do as well as fun to give and receive. You do not have to have any training to give your mate a thoroughly satisfying massage, although if you would like more guidance there are some excellent books and videos available.

Giving each other a massage as a first course of sexual play adds to your entire experience. Both partners are able to relax, leave the world behind, and be in the moment together. With massage, a woman’s body begins to awaken for arousal—her erotic side receives the time and attention she needs to “get in the mood”. A man whose body is relaxed so that his energy can flow more freely is able to last much longer.

You can perform massages just about anywhere—bed, floor, couch—but most comfortable for the masseur is a table at about hip height. It is not likely you have a portable massage table at home, but you do have a kitchen or dining table. With firm cushions, a foam mat or even an air mattress on top covered by a sheet, they make great massage surfaces. If the kitchen or dining rooms do not afford you as much privacy as you would like, move the table into your bedroom.

Give a dry massage—without oil, or a wet one—with oil. The market is flooded with wondrous lubricants—flavored, scented, unscented, edible, warming, tingling—take your pick. You can also make your own with a light vegetable oil, such as safflower, sunflower, jojoba, or canola-grape seed, and add your own essential oils to create a scent you prefer.

This is Al’s refreshing, and lightly spicy recipe, for the massage oil we supply in our lover’s kits at our Tantra weekends.

4 oz. canola oil (or substitute as above)

4 drops YlangYlang essential oil

1-2 drops Black Pepper essential oil (1 in summer, 2 in winter)

1-2 drops Clary Sage essential oil (1 in winter, 2 in summer)

Whichever products you choose for general body massage it is best to use water-based lubricants for massaging a woman’s genitals. Other lubricants may clog her pores and encourage vaginal infection.

Excerpted from our Tantra and Kama Sutra Sex Positions eBook.

Author's Bio: 

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their websites, and their blog Ask About Love and Sex or send email: They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot's Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.

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