Make Your Pitch - Turning Chit Chat Into Big Business

I meet a lot of different people both socially and professionally. Being self -employed, I'm at many business mixers and networking events. Whether for professional reasons or casual conversation, the question "What do you do?" comes up. The answer is usually your 30-60 second elevator speech... Hi, My name is .... I work for….my company is ..... I help people.......Sometimes the response goes on for more than 60 seconds.

Last week I was at a mixer and was called over by a colleague to meet a gentleman to whom she was speaking. With my name tag on, I walked over and extended my hand. Next - the question, "So, what do you do?" I have several short responses that invite questions if people want to know more. He didn't. My turn came to ask him the same question. After learning about his profession I asked him a question to learn more about who he was. His answer was to tell me about how good he was at his job, how happy his clients were with his services and so on for 10 -15 minutes. I stopped hearing him after the first few minutes as I looked for a polite way to excuse myself. Know what I mean?

During the entire conversation he never asked me anything that showed any curiosity in knowing who I am. It felt more like listening to an advertisement instead of having a conversation. It was all about HIM! Then he gave me his card, asked for referrals and said he'd get in touch with me. It was a total turnoff. Sound familiar?

You have about 7 seconds to make a good impression!

We assess people in three ways:

• 55% - How you look and act. Examples: Appearance, posture, and eye contact = non-verbal communication.

• 38% - How you sound. Your voice quality and tone (resonance).

• 7% - What you say. The actual words you use to express yourself.

Successful networking is about building quality relationships.

Below are three ways we connect with people:

1. Attitude. Are you warm, enthusiastic, or curious? How do you present your self to others?

2. Establish rapport. I.e. non verbal communication (see above), interest expressed, great listening skills, authenticity, sincerity, common life experience, which leads to…

3. Establish trust. Creating affiliations with others.

The potential to make a new connection can occur at the checkout line in the supermarket or at a formal business event. Any opportunity to strike up a conversation!

If your intent is to forge strategic alliances and build relationships, notice how you present yourself to people in all situations.

Do you meet people with a desire to “be in contribution” to them by listening for opportunities to be of help? Or do you look for opportunities to impress them with your practiced pitch and dazzling accomplishments? Do you have a specific agenda that might be off-putting rather than attracting people to you? Do you appear to be listening when, in reality, you’re thinking of what you want to say next? Remember, the first thing people buy is you not your product or service.

Creating connections naturally opens the door to referrals. If you knew of someone great who would be of help to folks in your life, would you keep that person a secret? What I am describing is the difference between attraction and selling. The Law of Attraction is a way of being “in relationship” (establishing rapport, trust, friendship) with the people with you meet.

Three Attraction Tips:

• Be sincere and real. In other words, be yourself with people. Express authenticity from your heart rather than trying to impress people.

• Be genuinely curious in learning about people in casual or business situations. Listen for how many times you make "I" statements to draw the focus consistently back to you. Remember, it’s all about THEM. Good conversations have a back and forth flow. Otherwise, you’re giving a speech.

• Be present with people. Practice different ways to listen: Empathic listening – listening and responding with both the heart and mind to understand the speaker’s words intent and feelings. Attentive Listening – paying attention and focusing on the speaker’s words. Eliminate the need to make comparisons to your own experiences to shift the focus on YOU. Active Listening – recapping back what you hear the person saying. Asking questions invites conversation by conveying genuine interest.

Three Networking Tips:

• Identify the number one, two or three key problems you solve for your clients. When asked, “What do you do?” Respond by saying the #1 problem you solve for people. You might say “I solve three problems for my clients.” Say what they are and keep it short!! Remember to smile, make eye contact, and stop talking. Allow them to ask you questions if they want to know more. If they have no interest in getting to know you, move on.

• Focus on making quality contacts rather than trying to meet as many people as you can. If you see people you know, ask them to introduce you around. Warm contacts can open door to warm leads. If you meet someone you'd like to know better, arrange a coffee, lunch or dinner meeting.

• Only offer your card when someone asks for it. If you want their card, ask for it. Are you cringing at this tip? Seriously, what’s the likelihood you will keep a card handed it to you, whether you wanted it or not? That’s all about THEM. If you want to give your card but haven't been asked you might say, "May I give you my card?" When given a card, hold it in both hands and say something about the card (I like the color, very striking) before putting it in your pocket or purse.

One of the best books on building powerfull business relationships is Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. This is a must-have resource for anyone serious on achieving business success, one conversation at a time!

To your success!

Copyright © Lorraine Cohen, 2004. All Rights Reserved.