***Letting Go of the “HOW?”

The number one question I’ve been asked recently is “HOW? How do I focus on the positive when I can’t make payroll? How do I enjoy my day when I’m so miserable? How do I get rid of the fear that I feel inside?”

HOW seems to be a big, scary word. In gathering my thoughts for this blog post I was wondering, “How do I help”? I was also stuck in the HOW of not knowing, yet wanting to be of service.

And then something funny happened. I was talking with our web guys about creating a widget for our site. I know nothing about how a website is programmed or how it works, let alone a widget. I just know what I need and what I want to provide for our community.

I explained exactly what I needed and told the web guy that I don’t care how they make it work, but stressed again what it had to do. We went back and forth with options to create what I wanted. I reiterated to them that I didn’t care HOW they do it, just make it work the way I need it to. And that’s when it hit me. I talk all the time about you don’t need to know the “HOW”, and here was a very tangible example of this right in front of me.

For me to personally try to figure out HOW to create this widget would be as unlikely as me trying to personally figure out the intricacies of my life! So many times we think that we’re in charge and we have to know all the ways in which things will line up to bring us our heart’s desire. What we fail to recognize is that the very best thing we can do is to get out of the way by letting go of the HOW.

If I sat with the programmers and designers and tried to show them how to do this, it would not only remain incomplete, but it would drive us all crazy. Yet how often do we do that in life? We know what we want and we try to program it to make it happen, rather than turning it over to the Universal programmer instead. No wonder we get frustrated, fearful and our options appear limited!

Knowing that we don’t have to understand the HOW of life is a gift to us all. Knowing the WHY and the WHAT are much more important. Look at it this way- if you have only 24 in this day and only a finite amount of energy; why not invest that time and energy in the WHY and the WHAT rather than the HOW? Release your control of the HOW into the hands of the greater unknown.

When I look at HOW am I going to make payroll, I’m only looking at the options that I can see- not those of the universe. I am limiting what I can do, the same as if I were going to attempt to design the widget myself with my limited information. These same limitations are what got me into this mess in the first place! But by staying true to the goal and letting go of the HOW, I open up to the world of possibility.

Maybe a new, unexpected client will walk through the door so that you can make payroll. Maybe a friend will call and talk you out of the funk. Maybe by celebrating the emotional high of the passion, the fear will dissolve. Be open to possibility by letting go of the attachment as to HOW it has to happen.

All I know is this… focusing on the HOW doesn’t work. Instead, put your time, energy and passion on the WHAT and the WHY and allow the HOW to show up. Allow the Universe to surprise you with wonders that you can’t even yet imagine. The more you do this, the better and faster it will work for you. And please, share your successes with me. I’m cheering for you!