Sure, there are some things that are conditional, and are entitled to be. Trust counts among them; entering into a business contract is another; agreeing to take on another responsibility a third. Love is not one. There can be nothing conditional about love, or it is not love.

We humans have an apparently limitless capacity for love, both in its giving and in its receiving. At the same time, we have an equally surprising ability to deny ourselves and others of that love. Self-doubt, fear and anger can so often obscure our innate and authentic self that the scraps of love we are willing to offer and accept become conditional, so that the little attempts we make can disappear altogether.

You may be thinking of the ones close to you whom you love. I’d like you to think more widely than that, and perhaps differently about how you can show your capacity for love. Think about how you show your love as a boss, or a work colleague, or a lawyer, dentist or storekeeper. Think about the unconditional love you can demonstrate to your neighbour, or the stranger you meet in the gym.

The “if” that gets in the way could be the internal voice that says “I’m angry with this person because the work hasn’t been finished properly”, or “this person won’t want to talk to me”, or “that person looks too busy (or intimidating, or unfriendly etc.). Set aside those inner messages for a moment and offer the greatest gift of love that one human can freely give another. Listen.

In peace
Warren Redman

Author's Bio: 

Warren Redman trained in the UK as a psychotherapist, facilitator and coach and has developed his own unique style of Life Coaching which he calls Emotional Fitness Coaching. He is president of the Emotional Fitness Institute (formally the Centre for Inner Balancing), writing about, teaching and coaching people in success skills of Emotional Fitness. He is the author of fifteen books, including the Award-winning The 9 steps to Emotional Fitness, Achieving Personal Success and Recipes for Inner Peace.

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