Keep Your Dreams On Track! Strategies For Women & Girls (and fellas)

I recently appeared as a guest on Soulfully Speaking, a radio show for women and girls hosted by Dr. Anita Davis-Defoe. We had an interesting and deep conversation about staying motivated and on track with our goals, preventing our dreams from ending up in our back pocket, and not letting fear, confusion and everyday responsibilities derail us from our purpose. We also talked about how to help connect young women-to-be with higher aspirations than the media and society may "inspire" in them. While the show addresses women and girls, the issues and strategies we discussed were universal. A partial transcript follows.

Dr. Defoe: If you're just tuning in, my first guest this evening is Dr. Antonia Martinez who's a Destiny Coach. And she's been giving us all some insights and some words of wisdom as we earnestly pursue our dreams and our passions. 2008 has been designated the year of fulfillment. But it's up to us to chose to claim it and to do the work necessary so that the passion and the dream of our heart, (can be brought) to fruition. You know, Dr. Martinez, you brought up another key issue that I was going to raise, and that's the whole thing of fear. You have the naysayers saying one thing, and then this whole thing of fear paralyzing us--particularly women. I know because I've been a victim of it myself where you allow fear to just grip you. And even though your spirit is telling you to do one thing, you let fear paralyze you, and you end up not making any movement.

Dr. M: When you feel that fear...(it's) really an indication of what you need to learn, what you need to master....So turn your fear into a path of self-improvement. The second thing I would say about the fear is that if your fear is coming from self-doubt, you don't want to distract yourself by saying "I can't move until I'm totally confident and believe in myself 100%. If you think of babies when they're learning how to walk, they keep falling...getting (back) up, (and taking the next) step. So yes, you may be afraid and yes, you may be in the process of learning how to deal with that, but in the meantime keep getting up. Keep taking the next step. Because as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, whether you're afraid or not, you'll get to the other side. And that's what you need to focus on when you're afraid. Focus on getting to the other side.

Dr. Defoe: You raise such an interesting point. Because when you think about it, as adults, we've been knocked down a couple times...and we so take that to heart. In thinking about the example you gave, children are still very fearless. They think they can do anything. They're willing to explore. More of us need to tap into the childlike wonder that you just described...The vast majority of us don't honor our dreams. We go through the motions. So often, when we transition into eternal life, our gifts and talents--that magic that we were supposed to do to uplift the planet--we end up taking back with us because for so many reasons, we don't tap in and we don't get on the divine path that we're supposed to be on...With women, and we're seeing it more and more with young girls, there's a state of confusion, buying into stereotypes, and putting destiny and aspirations to the side. What would you say to women--particularly as we're staring the new year--who find themselves struggling? What kind of self reflections should they be doing, particularly if they have daughters, to refocus their mindset and start to get on track?

Dr. M: I think (one) problem is that you get all of these different ideas (and images); you hear all these different tips and strategies from different people. And different things work for different people. So you as an individual have to understand what your power is, how to use it, how it may be off-balance and how to get that back in balance so that you can move forward...What you need is to get in touch with what's going on in your heart. What is your heart calling you to do? It's so easy to get brainwashed almost into thinking (your ideas and dreams) are silly because of what (friends, family or the media) are telling you. If you let your heart be your guide, you have an easier time drawing the line between the real you and the false persona that society creates for you. Especially for women with children, connecting to your heart is not only important for bringing you to your destiny but strengthening that bond between you. That opens up a whole new dimension of interaction between you...

Dr. Defoe: ...You've hit on such an important struggle for us all. We may have the goals. We may have the dreams. We might even commit to paper something that we're going to do to make it happen. And the first time that we hit a roadblock or something is amiss, we give it up or we get derailed. And I find so many people struggle with that, from the professional coach to someone who is not even trained in coaching. We all struggle with that same issue.

Dr. M: ...When you make that initial breakthrough, no matter what it is, the breakthrough is really just the starting point. A lot of people think the breakthrough is it. "Yeah, I made my breakthrough. I'm there." ...there are actually eight other phases that you go through to kind of solidify that, and I talk about those in the Breakthrough Kit (www.BreakthroughKit.com). But let me tell you that the next step you have to take after you make the initial breakthrough is to ground the energy. Remember, when you're making a breakthrough, this is all new to you. This is totally different than whatever energy you were in before. Now you have to grow roots so that you can steady yourself and become stable.

Dr. Defoe: (In) the hectic, stressful world that we live in--the juggling--it's so easy to get off track. It doesn't matter what your dream is or how experienced you are in dream building. You and I both know time goes so quickly. And before you know it, you've frittered away two or three months and haven't made one positive step. Leave the listening audience with one tip, one action they need to take tonight or in the morning.

Dr. M: Determine what your primary goal is this year and set dates for when you're going to make milestone achievements toward that goal. Write it down. Don't just leave your dream flapping in the wind.

Listen to the full interview at www.HealingSpirit.com/journal. Be sure to share this with someone who can be served by it!