If you are like half of married people, you are going to divorce. It is a sad but true fact of life. If a marriage has to end, at least end it with as much dignity as possible. A public court brawl is not nice to watch and even worse to live through. If you have children together or have amassed a lot of assets, you have much to lose by drawing out daggers and going at each other in court. If you want to save as much money as possible while protecting your co-parenting relationship your best alternative is divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation is the best alternative for rational people whose goal is to get out without hurting each other. Some people really do want to fight. They don't mind spending all their money as long as it means the other person won't get it. Mediation wouldn't be satisfying for someone with that kind of agenda. If the idea of saving as much money as you can while staying out of court sounds good to you than you owe it to yourself to explore mediation. Once you see how peaceful divorce can be, you will be glad you mediated your case instead of fighting in court. It may sound strange that a divorce can be peaceful since most people associate divorce with hiring separate attorneys and doing legal battle, but my own practice proves that is not the case.

When the mediator is a lawyer, they do all the paperwork necessary to start and complete the divorce as well as answering all your legal questions, helping you negotiate a settlement and drafting the Marital Settlement Agreement. Use an attorney who has a powerful intention to complete the process, instead of dragging it out to line their own pockets. Everyone knows someone who has been through an ugly divorce. You have heard stories of lawyers getting more of the marital assets then the clients get. If you are a child of divorce, you probably know what it is like to feel torn between your parents. No loving parent would want their children to experience such a thing.

Imagine 20 years in the future when your child is getting married. You will be able to comfortably share this day with your ex because you had a "peaceful" divorce. My own sister in law is married to a man whose own mother didn't come to the wedding because her ex was there. What a sad state when a mother is so angry at someone she divorced 20 years ago that she misses her own son's wedding. You can avoid that pain for yourself and make sure your children are never put in the position of having to chose who to invite to family events.

As in all areas of your life, the choices you make will determine the outcome. If you go down the adversarial road the outcome is fairly certain. There will be "winners" and "losers" and the accompanying hard feelings. It will be expensive, not only financially but emotionally. The better choice is to work together to end your marriage instead of dragging each other through the courts. As the child of divorce, let me assure you that the best gift you can give your children is a "good" divorce because the alternative really hurts!

Author's Bio: 

Ms. Rachman has been a family law attorney since 1996 and has become so disheartened by our adversarial legal system that she walked away from a successful law practice and now only works with couples doing mediation. To listen to an audio program that goes into more detail how mediation differs from litigation, go to http://www.divorce-inaday.com