I chose to grow into heaven on earth by healing my ghastly past. My road in life was not smooth; many events were rocky and traumatic. Chaos and violence impacted my life severely from an early age. Retracing the events of my life, I found that I had perpetuated fear, shame, and turmoil from my dysfunctional childhood. Also, living with hereditary conditions, I became the walking dead.

My mother’s paranoid schizophrenia dominated my very existence. Father’s alcoholism affected all my growing up experiences. I became the perfect child, while totally terrified, because of these family dynamics.

My emotional growth stopped abruptly at the age of three seeing a violent fight between my father and mother for the first time. Later, when I began to heal myself, I realized that my stunted inner growth had also been affected by external forces. Indoctrination to family, church, and society rules had suppressed my mental and emotional maturity as well.

My parents divorced and the addition of a stepfather brought more irrational and dysfunctional behavior into my life. His addiction to alcohol, pornography, and sex again affected my emotional security. My parents were not able to model positive life skills. The results for me were numerous: addictions, domestic violence, and physical and mental illnesses all of which created my “Hell on Earth."
Marrying my husband in college, our drinking eventually added prescription drugs from the doctors later, trying to calm our chaotic lives. With my family background it was inevitable that I would repeat the sequence of violence, alcoholism, and physical and mental illness. One night, in total fear, I said in my mind, “God, please help me."

The answer to my prayer was Al-anon and Alcoholics Anonymous. The 12-step programs taught me to search fearlessly inside myself which brings great rewards. When releasing these barriers to maturity, space was opened for positive traits to replace them. I was gently led into a higher awareness of reality. It revealed to me that there really was a God who loved me.

The first aspect of my new life was to address my "physical" illnesses. I believe medical problems are God’s wake-up call that something is out of balance. They are red flags necessitating the courage to change from dis-ease to cooperating with God’s will. I found that both hereditary predispositions as well as chronic illnesses can heal with appropriate action and new thinking.

Learning that alcoholism was a major genetic predisposition revealed to me that it will overshadow everything in life if untreated. It was necessary to address the root causes of all my addictions, Bipolar Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, domestic violence, and more. Dealing with the subconscious source can also heal physical conditions. Moreover, I found that my domestic violence situation was a deeper form of addiction; it was a soul problem.

After addressing the physical, the next phase was to explore the “mental” aspects of my life. Though I had read many self-help books previously, my fears restricted my ability to absorb the information I read and act on it. The faults I had discovered during my fearless searching had to be addressed; they actually stopped my growth. Positive declarations like I look for the good in my life, could replace old ideas. Then I said, “Satan get thee behind me; I no longer want old ideas to run my life”. I got on my knees and released the helpless and hopeless thinking that was reflected by my parents, teachers, doctors and church dogma.

Thinking was my problem. “Every loving thought is true.” The process of renewing my mind to think love or wellbeing allowed me to release old ideas. I finally understood that life is an inside job. I vowed to embrace integrity. More healing took place with my rigorous inner honesty. I found the “keys to the kingdom”.

The third step of my search involved understanding "emotions". I found fear, shame, and guilt were the basis of my emotional problems. Suppressing anger and terror led to harbored resentments and eventually suicidal feelings. When holding such feelings the grace of God cannot enter. I discovered the absence of God’s presence results in an inner darkness called depression. The flow of energy could be changed. The courage to plow a new path brought becoming emotionally available.

Another inspiration showed me that medications suppressed my natural feelings. This new life style produced my value as a person. My worth no longer came from activities and accomplishments. Right thinking, words, and actions create the feeling I am a “good” person. I am a child of God. Gradually I understood that “in God’s house there are many mansions” meant many states of consciousness.

Now, in a sane basis of rational, positive, loving feelings I experience a bright, peaceful meadow where God invites me to lie down in green pastures. I am no longer a “human doing”, but a “spiritual being” having a human experience. God forgives me and I can forgive my self for not trusting my inner good judgment.

I can connect with God through praying for His power and guidance in my life. Using prayers for my husband brought personal protection throughout my divorce. This raises my awareness and regenerates my thinking with God as my co-pilot.

I decided to trust "spiritual" guidance for help and my faith grew. “God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth”. “God, I have lived in hell. I deserve to have the rest of my life in heaven.” I prayed. God honored my request; opportunities for tools, support, therapy, and appropriate people to help me grow into God-consciousness gradually appeared when I was ready. Living in grace grew to be my “Heaven on earth”.

Meditation and prayer opened the door to accessing the healing power missing in my life. In addition, to prayer and meditation there are other ways to uphold my higher connection at a soul level. Some examples that helped me are: massage therapy, spiritual mentors, spiritual study groups, healing groups, and flower essences. Eventually, I attracted a new loving relationship. My internationally speaking, writing, consulting, along with counseling and instructing has helped many people. Spiritually we also grow into heaven on the arm of those we help.

In my evolving process forgiveness became essential. I found that forgiving brings an intense positive energy shift. To forgive others was easier than forgiving myself. Eventually, I could give up the emotional hurts for a new beginning.

Spirituality and science came together at this point. It is all about raising and expanding vibrational energy into a higher power. This means you can label this force spiritual or energy. When a higher vibrating power is mentioned in science it is referred to as energy; in a perspective of spirituality it is usually called God. Often, in churches, your low, negative energy is identified as Satan or the devil. By going within to purify my heart and cleanse my soul, I increase my connection with God, raising my energy while the barriers of fear dissipate. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. 1John 4:18 God’s love turned out to be my best friend.

Finally, this lower energy force brings dis-ease, discord, chaos, irrational thinking, and excessive emotions causing illnesses and addictions. Living in the loving spirit of a higher power of love called God, allows me to safely let go of my negative, blocked energy. Replacing the love for the fear creates the life I always wanted. Enhanced understanding taught me that changing into a person of serenity and love also shifts society’s energy toward calm, centered, and rational life style in cause and effect and like begets like. Peace on earth begins with me.

Therefore, I could heal myself through changing my life style. I realized that constructive individual transformation affects society; it is not the other way around. This individual journey of action where love heals private fears and secret trauma creates a new life style. God’s love brings shining truth and recovery represents letting go of what does not serve me well in the “now”. A consciousness of goodness catapulted me into a powerful life-style. This creative force elevates me into a new, higher perception often called Christ-consciousness or the Fourth Dimension.

I create Heaven on Earth as I lovingly take daily responsibility for myself. While integrating the healing of my spirit and soul, I found my healthy inheritance of well being. Now peace and healthiness are the new results. Spiritual clarity reveals there is no separation from God; we are all of the same spirit. Therefore, scientifically or spiritually the Christ-consciousness is attained.

Author's Bio: 

Reverend Marilyn Redmond is now employing flower essences in her Holistic Health and Therapeutic Hypnosis Practice. They compliment the changes desired by her clients.

Marilyn is an international speaker, teacher, author, and consultant focusing on personal and spiritual growth. She works with all illness, addictions including alcoholism, domestic violence, relationships, health, healing, spirituality, and education. She was inducted into “Who’s Who for Professional and Executives” for her innovative and pioneering work in restoring traumatic lives, healing emotional causes of illness and releasing negative energy.

Her first book is “Roses Have Thorns, Encouragement on Evolving from Pain to Joy.” Her forthcoming book “Secrets to Life and Living: Let the Real You Out” will reveal innovative and cutting edge answers to our problems and illnesses.
She has taught in colleges, wellness centers, speaks, writes, and counsels people to find their inner strength and consciousness for health, healing, and empowerment. Her radio show, “Marilyn’s Solutions”, and her radio and TV appearances are big successes. She is available for your next event to transform your life.