....Know yourself first: Your relationship with yourself

Deep down inside, at the core of your soul, your spirit knows that you are a person of worth and value. You have a burning desire to reveal to others that you are indeed a worthwhile individual, someone of value to know. But in order to express this to others you must fully realize it yourself, in your conscious thoughts and beliefs. But how many of us truly see ourselves in this light?

The most important human relationship you will ever have is with you. If you are a parent, you might think that your relationships with your children are the most important, or if you are in love you might think the love of your life is the most important. But those relationships come second to the relationship you maintain with yourself. Why? Because when you love, value and appreciate yourself, you become a living demonstration of love as opposed to a mere “spokesperson” of love. You aren’t just talking the talk, you’re walking the walk. When you put the time into understanding yourself and working on yourself, it helps you become more emotionally, physically and spiritually healthy, which in turn allows you to have a lot more to give to the people you love best. Love is as love does, not what love says it will do.

Know that you are worthy of good things. Know that you deserve to have standards for yourself. Know that it is permissible to have boundaries about what other people can or cannot do or say to you or around you. You get to decide what you allow in your space, knowing that when you do these things, other people will notice and will respect you, because you demonstrate your worthiness of that respect. It’s not about being better than someone else; it’s about deciding who you want to be and what you want for your life, and conducting yourself in a way that will allow you to create that which you desire in life.

Part of knowing yourself is learning to be happy with yourself, in AS IS condition, just the way you are, and without relying on another person or material things to complete you. You don’t need someone or something else to complete you because you are already complete. You are already a whole and complete person, with your own thoughts, feelings and desires. You are already the total package. If you do not now feel like you are complete and whole, it is because up until now you have not been willing to consider this as a possibility… and maybe it’s time!

When you work toward recognizing and creating wholeness and balance in your life, and when you get to know yourself, you begin to realize you have unlimited choices about your life. As you learn to focus on figuring out what you want, on what works or does not work for you, then you will begin to attract and enjoy the company of other people who are a good fit for being in your life.

I have taken the opportunity to ask people if they loved themselves and the response is usually a firm Yes. And when I asked them to describe the thoughts and beliefs they had about others they loved, they said things like: amazing, full of potential, great, unstoppable, charismatic and a litany of other magnificent qualities. Then I asked, “Would you also attribute some of these same wonderful qualities to yourself?” The answer, more often than not, was No. How do we logically defend the statement that we love ourselves, but we don’t associate the same lovable qualities with ourselves that we attribute to others we respect and admire? It just doesn’t add up, but we do it all the same.

We must realize our own innate completeness and then we will not seek from others what we believe to be missing within ourselves, and what they are unable to supply. We will always be disappointed with this practice because an outside source will disappoint you every time, and that is because you are seeking something outside of yourself that you already have within yourself. And another can’t be you like you can be yourself. It is an illusion that something is missing, and therefore no one and nothing will ever be able to fill the void because nothing is missing in the first place.

Think about this: is it possible that we seek love because we seek our Source, and Source is love? We seek what we believe we lack and because we lack nothing what we desire is within ourselves, the Essence we all possess. What we ultimately seek is a relationship with Self. We desire the realization of our essence, the knowledge of who we are and that we are whole. Could this be the entire purpose of our existence, the realization of our Eternal self, the journey back to Self? I will leave you with that thought to carry with you throughout your day today.

Author's Bio: 

A special major graduate of California State University, Tai Archbold is a Behavior Modification Specialist in the fields of substance abuse, parenting, relationship, and family modeling. Her latest book, "Faces of Sickness", is the second in the "Eyes Wide Open Mind Shut Tight Book Series". You can find out more about it and Tai at http://www.NuMeEnterprises.com