Too many wives with cheating husbands put up with their husband’s infidelity because they feel they have no choice, or they don’t know what else to do. If you’re in a similar situation, don’t despair. You have more power and control than you think.

Don’t Be a Helpless Victim

You don’t have to suffer in silence or be a helpless victim. There are practical things you can do to make the best of a bad situation, and minimize the damage infidelity can cause. You can prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for what lies ahead. You can take steps to protect yourself sexually, legally and financially. Best of all, most of these things can be done quietly behind the scenes, without your husband’s knowledge. And they will leave you feeling empowered, rather than victimized. In the long run, you’ll gain the upper hand.

Knowledge About the Affair is Power - Find Out All You Can

Knowledge is power. The first thing you should do is find out everything you can about your husband’s affair. For the sake of your sanity and your marriage, you have a right to know. You also need to have certain information so you can decide what’s in your (and your children’s) best interest to do. Finding out need not involve hiring an investigator or buying fancy surveillance equipment. “Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs” can be a tremendous help. ( ) This $29 book contains practically every known sign of infidelity, grouped into 21 categories so you can easily find the signs that apply to your marriage or your mate. Most women are amazed at how much information they can find with the help of this 192-page book, which also comes in e-book format. The more you find out about your husband’s affair, the better equipped you’ll be to make intelligent decisions about how to handle the situation.

What You Can Learn From The Signs Of Infidelity

You can learn a lot from the kind of telltale signs you find -- how often your husband sees his lover, when and where they meet, who she is, where she works or lives, what her interests, habits, and hobbies are, how deeply they are involved, and more. Many of the signs of infidelity are quite subtle. But once you know what to look for, they’re fairly easy to find. All you need are your own eyes and ears, your personal knowledge of your husband, and the help of a good infidelity reference book. Did you find signs which indicate your husband is serious enough about “the other woman” to move in with her or ask you for a divorce? Do the signs you found give any clues as to whether your marriage can be saved? Or does the situation call for damage control? Do the signs indicate that this is a workplace affair? Or is it an emotional affair? A cyber affair? A fling? Based on what you’ve discovered, can you devise a way to sabotage the affair and get your marriage back on track? Knowledge is power. Analyzing the telltale signs you find will definitely give you the upper hand.

How an Infidelity Consultant Can Help

Sometimes an objective third party can bring clarity to the situation and help you make sense of the signs you’ve found. Someone knowledgeable about infidelity can help you evaluate the signs and formulate a game plan for what to do next. An infidelity consultant ( ) can answer any questions you have, assess your personal situation and suggest practical things you can do. You may want to safeguard your financial interests, get recommendations for a marriage counselor, consult a divorce attorney just to find out your legal rights, make changes at home or find some way to short-circuit your husband’s affair.

Act Now to Gain the Upper Hand

Armed with the knowledge gained from the telltale signs you found, you’re now ready to take action to gain the upper hand. Act decisively. Don’t ignore the affair or wait to see how things will turn out. If you let the situation deteriorate to the point of no return, you’ll lose your chance to gain the upper hand. Do what you can right now to make the best of your situation. Even if you’re still unsure whether you’ll stay with your husband or leave, take control of the situation. Empower yourself by working quietly behind the scenes and you can gain the upper hand. For specific things you can do, get Ruth Houston’s FREE tip sheet entitled “What Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Do to Gain the Upper Hand.” Send an e-mail to with “Upper Hand” in the subject line.

© Copyright 2005 Ruth Houston. All rights reserved.

Author's Bio: 

About the Author

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of Is He Cheating on You?-829 Telltale Signs, a comprehensive guide which documents practically every known sign of infidelity. For more information about the book, infidelity, or cheating husbands, visit Ruth Houston also does affordable personal infidelity consultations by e-mail or by phone. For details or fees, send an email to with “consultation” in the subject line.