Whether you are attracting new clients for your business, have moved into a new community and want to make friends, have started a new job, or are open to romance, here are some ways to attract new people:

1. Smile.
I recently heard of a man who met his fiance when she gave him a friendly smile at the dry cleaners, and he asked the cleaners for her name. Smiling is often a first point of contact.

2. Eye contact.
This is a sign of confidence and contact. WARNING: longer than 3 seconds is considered flirting; staring is a turn off. (This varies from culture to culture, as well as smiling, speaking first, and shaking hands. Some cultures hug, kiss on the cheek, bow.)

3. Say "hi."
If we all always waited for the other to speak, we would live in a silent world.

4. A firm handshake.
Need I say more? This also conveys confidence.

5. Go where the people you want to attract will be.
I heard of a woman who prefers meeting men at the local Chamber of Commerce rather than a bar, because "at least I know they will have a job." If you want to meet other professionals, join the professional organization. If you want to meet other skiers, go to the local ski club meeting. If you want to meet people with similar morals, beliefs, and values, try a church, synagogue, temple, etc. It is hard to attract new people when you are sitting home alone watching TV.

6. Dress appropriately.
If you want to attract clients, dress like people do in their business and culture. Using the example again of meeting people with similar beliefs, morals, and values: if you want to meet conservative people, do not wear something flashy or flamboyant. If you want to run with the motorcycle crowd, go for the leather pants! Obviously, clothes that are clean,
pressed, that fit, are not outdated.

7. Be honest, positive, and brief.
Honesty: because relationships are founded on trust. Positive: attitude, attitude, attitude! Brief: so you leave plenty of time to...

8. Listen!
Everyone has the desire to feel significant. Doesn't someone truly listening to you, showing an interest in you and your interests, and your business enhance that feeling?

9. Be happy, content with yourself and your life.
Do you think someone new wants to hear about how great things were back at/with X company, town, or person? Will you draw people to yourself if you are doing it out of desperation, because you feel incomplete, not OK, lonely? (N0.) It is hard to be happy, content when you are comparing. When you are happy, you will naturally be smiling!

10. Be the kind of person you want to attract.
If you want to attract someone who is in shape and has a healthy lifestyle, be in shape and have a healthy lifestyle. If you want to attract clients you can count on and pay on time, be accountable and pay on time. If you want to attract good communicators who treat you well, make sure your communication skills are polished, and pay attention to how you treat others. ETC.

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Submitted by Marilyn O'Hearne, MSW, author of the popular Connections newsletter, who can be reached at marilyn@connectionscoaching.com, or visited on the web at http://www.connectionscoaching.com