Got the Holiday Blues? Bah Humbug

Are the holidays filled with loneliness for you? Do you feel like it’s just a lot of work for you? Is the meaning of the holidays lost? Has this just happened now that your children are out of the house and maybe you have been on your own for awhile? Holidays are definitely one of the most difficult times of the year as we live out the last quarter of our lives.

It gets harder and harder to put up the Christmas tree. You just don’t want to take the time and effort to cook a big meal. Many of your friends have plans with their own families. Holidays can be traditionally very depressing, stressful and exhausting.

I overheard a man in the Post Office the other day “Oh, you know. I hate the holidays. My wife died last year. I’m just not interested in Christmas.” I was shopping, a lady checking out said: “I’m sick of all the shopping and cooking. No one appreciates the work I do for everyone to have presents under the tree.” As the mother of five sons and the one that all 18 members of my family looked to for the annual Christmas Eve seated dinner, I can relate.

What is getting lost in the craziness of the holidaze? First, what is the reason and meaning for this holiday? What are we supposed to celebrate or remember? If you are a Christian, for instance, and have studied the Bible, then you know at that time, we’re celebrating the birth of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. What a true miracle this really was.

If you aren’t particularly religious, then is Christmas a time of year to think of giving to others – the people you love, those who have cared about you, who has helped you, who is less fortunate? Newsflash! Christmas, as with every other holiday, except maybe your birthday, isn’t just about You.

Are you feeling lonely, left out, sad from memories of Christmas in the past? We can all find empathy with you and compassion. People who care about you and love you are only going to put up with you feeling sorry for yourself for just so long. Eventually, all of us have to pull up our own bootstraps and get on with it.

What can you do to make this year different? What can you do to wake up on December 26th and think “this has been a great holiday”?

First, isn’t this a perfect opportunity to start to really LIVE for TODAY? Treasure those memories of past loved ones, family Christmases you shared. BUT, you’re still breathing, so you must still be here! Let’s make some memories for TODAY. What can you do to get out of yourself and find meaning for this holiday for you and for others?

First, do you want to give gifts? How can you approach this differently? One of the best presents I ever got was from one of my sons – a picture of him doing something he liked, not posed, with a letter telling me his memories of the Christmases he shared with his brothers. Could you do the same thing? Write a story about you as a child, then share this with your children or siblings?

Next, who else is in a similar situation as you? Do you know someone who is alone this year or not able to be with their family? Is there a friend who is overwhelmed by their big family that you could help? Do you know someone who isn’t able to drive, who doesn’t get out much? Do you know someone who is in assisted living, who doesn’t have many visitors? What can you do for these other people? Won’t you be doing something for yourself also?

Can you plan a meal at your house? It doesn’t have to be a huge production. You could get frozen pizza, a little red wine and everyone would have a great time, just being together. What about vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, cherries, whipped cream – let everyone make an ice cream mountain? How about just going on a drive in the country? Could you take a walk through the neighborhood or park lights one evening?

Look in the newspaper or go online to find all of the holiday concerts, programs, fireworks displays in your area. How about the community theatre production of “Dear Santa”? If nothing else, get some friends over to watch a funny movie – “Elf”, “Christmas with the Cranks” or “Home Alone” – drink some hot chocolate with marshmallows. One string of Christmas lights can add so much “joy”. How about decorating some cookies; this is actually fun for adults too. Think outside of what you always have done. There is a Life outside of your usual box.

Lastly, could you find something to contribute to those who are having a particularly hard time? Find agencies who work with homeless or orphaned children, people living in shelters, those who are hungry. Haven’t you heard that your reward is doubled when you give to others less fortunate? Writing a check is great, but you’ll feel the best when you give your time and talents, volunteer. Call any local churches, social service organizations, hospitals or senior centers to find an endless list of opportunities. A few phone calls could change your life forever, to say nothing of adding to your holiday memories.

Have you heard all of this before? Are you going to DO anything differently this year? My point is that you have to connect with your own spirituality, your own relationship to those around you. One of the most powerful things you can do to improve your own circumstances is to get out of yourself, get out of your own mind and return to your heart.