Which One is the Introvert?

[graphic from www.clipart.com]

"I asked these three adorable little guys here to model for me about introversion. 30% of the people in the world are introverts. 33 1/3% of the people in this photo are introverts. Introversion is a legitimate personality style. Are you wondering what it means to be an introvert? Wondering if you're an introvert? Or your child?

If you want to know, you can take a self-test for free at www.keirsey.com but your child can't! Let's learn more about how to recognize the characteristics of introversion with the help of these boys. Have you guessed which one is the introvert?

If you guessed the boy on the right, you're correct. The boy on the right is the introvert. There are several ways you can tell. First is the intensity of his stare. Already he is showing the introvert's ability to focus. While his little pals are hamming it up for the camera, he's intent upon something.

Secondly, the boy on the right is staring right at the person taking the picture. Try this. Look at the boy and see ... he’s staring right back at you. Rather than acting because he’s in front of a camera, he ignores the camera completely and looks right at you.

This ability to "ignore things" that extroverts are distracted by or reactive to is a strong characteristic for success in introversion. Warren Buffett, the world's greatest investor and an introvert, has given this advice to would-be investors, "As far as you are concerned, the stock market does not exist. Ignore it." [He has called the stock market "manic depressive".] Like Warren Buffett, the little boy is ignoring a great deal of the distractions around him and concentrating on the photographer.

Self awareness can make it challenging for introverts to walk into a crowded room. They can't get lost in the energy of the crowd the way extroverts do but keep a strong sense of self that often makes them feel highly self conscious. But with a strong sense of self, introverts are not easily swayed by others' opinions. Introversion can seem like a disadvantage during the teen years, when socializing is so important. But it can be a great advantage as your introverted teen can stand alone against the crowd. S/he can resist peer pressure including dating too soon, trying drugs and alcohol, smoking and other events where teens feel peer pressure.

Introverts don't care what others think about them. Their focus is within. They have a natural integrity, an integrated sense of self which is difficult for many extroverts. Introverts may be taught to feel bad about themselves in a society or family that thinks being the life of the party is a thrill or a necessity. But within themselves, they know who they are. This is why the pressure to turn an introverted child into an extrovert is so harmful. There is a big price to pay for this later on in terms of stress and stress related illness.

Another characteristic ... can you see that the boy on the right is giving energy? Photographs are easy to read. As an intuitive and psychic, I teach people how to read energy like this.

If you want to practice, relax for a moment and clear your mind. Take a few deep conscious breathes. Try staring into each of the faces. Your eye will rest on the third face, the boy on the right, because he’s giving energy. You may think you’re making this up but you’re not.

Because they give energy to others, little introverted kids are exhausted at the end of the school day. Many people have drunk at their well and they need to be alone to fill back up again. Please, oh please, let your introverted child have a room with a door that closes.

You may also be noticing by now that introverts won't mug for the camera. They won't mug for anybody! Introverts can suffer in social situations because we don't have a ready-made "persona" or "personality" like a great big smile or eyes that sparkle with fire! We don't have a naturally ready hand shake or even a desire to cross the room to meet somebody new.

Introverts don't have a costume or mask to wear in public but we can get one. By the way, did you know that a personality is like a costume or mask? It's not the spirit or the soul of us, it's something we put on and can take off or change, though many don't know this. In astrology, we assume a new personality at 30 year intervals, although this transit arrives at different times in our lives. So, what every introvert needs is a persona or personality to wear for the wedding, the school photograph or the family reunion. Often we arrive just the way we are. Is it any surprise we feel like you can see right through us?

I recommend inventing a Personality for State Occasions. Introverts don't like to mess with unnecessary social events so let's reserve Public Appearances for those occasions where it is absolutely necessary. Why not rehearse with your child or for yourself how you will enter the room, the minimum social niceties that are expected, such as greeting the host/ess or shaking hands? Prepare ahead of time a few social remarks and let it go at that. Not our thing!

Here’s an example of how to prepare an introverted child for a friend’s birthday party.

When you get to the birthday party, say hello to the birthday person and their parent. Hand the child their present and say Happy Birthday. When they say Thank you, say You're welcome. If they don't say thank you, skip this part. Then step back, look around the room, and see what the other kids are doing. Decide what you want to do and go over there. When you get there, say Can I play, too? If you pass anyone along the way, say hi. If nothing seems interesting, sit politely and watch everybody else. If anybody asks you what's wrong, say, Nothing's wrong. I enjoy watching. When you leave the party, be sure to say thank you to the child and their parent. Hopefully there will be some interesting games or activities but if not, it's just a few hours of your life.

Really, introverts can do without parties!

So now I hope you have an idea of some things to look for. Let’s review. There’s intensity, focus, concentration, ignoring unimportant things in the surroundings, self awareness at all time and perhaps a noticeable lack of enthusiasm when social events are proposed. On the other hand, here are some things introverted kids won’t do: mug it up, get lost in the energy of the crowd, react to peer pressure or forget who they are.

Above all, please remember, introversion is a legitimate personality style. There’s nothing wrong with your introverted child! Learn more about introverts by visiting my website www.theintrovertzcoach.com