Eradicating Jealousy To Prosper In Our Relationships.-By Johnny Roman

(Proverbs 14:30)- A calm heart is the life of the fleshly organism, but jealousy is rotteness to the bones.

We have all seen the destructive effects that jealousy can have. It often brings emotional and physical harm. In fact, people have even died because of being victims of jealous rages. What are some of the things people get jealous about?

Often times, it is manifested when someone other than ourselves, garners praise and prestige. In other situations, it may result due to someone obtaining the affections of someone we are enamored with. For example, two friends have a romantic interest in the same woman. When the woman embraces one man while spurning the other, this often provokes a lingering resentment in the rejected suitor. Perhaps this may have happened to you.

This isn't to say that it is not normal to feel hurt and frustrated when we are slighted. However, it becomes a dangerous problem when our resentment and bitterness is induced by the success and accomplishments of our peers. It is even worse, when we start looking at successful ones as our rivals. King Saul of ancient Israel made this mistake. Instead of looking at David objectively, his animosity grew with each success that David enjoyed. Saul grew wrathful and suspicious of David, when the women of the land extolled David in song. Saul's mistake was in comparing David's accomplishments with his own. Instead of appreciating his own accomplishments, he grew more obsessed with David. This irrational thinking precipitated a chain of events, that led Saul to attempted murder, and eventually his own ruin.

Jealousy can certainly bring frightening results. Since Jealousy is a work of the flesh, it can dominate our behaviors if we are not careful. Sad to say, most people today are consumed with jealous tendencies. Why? First, most people were reared in households, where natural affection and commendation were nonexistent. These people were objects of criticism and disdain. They were also recipients of ridicule, and unfairly compared to others. Jealousy often emanates from low self-esteem, competition, repeated failures and deprivation of love. This shows that jealousy is deeply embedded in one's heart, and is not easily superseded. A jealous person needs to readjust his assessments of himself and others. How can this be done?

A person with jealous tendencies, must learn to recognize and appreciate his own talents and accomplishments. Everyone alive has talents and circumstances that can benefit others. They should learn to value and not marginalize, their abilities. Jehovah does not compare our efforts and successes with anyone else. He is appreciative of our efforts to do the right thing. His justice and love is what makes him desire that everyone alive attain happiness. Therefore, a jealous person needs to stop being afraid that someone else's accomplishments and happiness are a threat to his own. Everyone alive can achieve some measure of happiness if they strive to live a moral life, and are spiritually diligent.

What about the feelings of neglect, rejection and ostracism, that many people have? Did someone you love, reject you for someone else? Do you feel deprived of love and commendation? Sadly, many do. The reality is that humans need daily reassurances of warmth and affection. If someone has rejected you, You cannot give in to feelings of self-loathing. The person who rejected you, probably had minimal appreciation for what you had to offer. Therein lies the key: Everyone has something to offer. If that person didn't value you, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't! Even more consoling, is the fact that there are people who are looking for someone just like you! When you have a robust outlook on your abilities and accomplishments, you will not be jealous of anyone else.

A jealous person must also not compare himself with others. The person you are jealous of, has flaws and shortcomings like anyone else. So instead of viewing your rival as a success, and yourself as a failure, appreciate the fact that you are both different and successful in your own ways. Remove yourself from the company of those that marginalize your accomplishments and abilities. Those that compare you to others could induce the feelings of jealousy you are trying to avoid. Thankfully, Jehovah didn't declare that life should be one open competition. Rather, everyone can win the gifts of happiness, love and life, if they tenaciously cling to Jehovah.

I have always said, that a person devoid of jealousy can accomplish so much. He will have a positive analysis of himself and others. He will have inner peace, and no insecurities. He will handle his own setbacks and successes of others with grace. Pray to Jehovah to help you extirpate any jealousy in your heart. Remember, that Jehovah values you and wants you to be happy. If you look closely, you will see that there are people that have identified your attributes and talents. These people likely were the beneficiaries of what you have to offer. Treasure those things, and you will see how satisfying it is when your jealousy has eroded and love comes your way!