If you’re sitting down to write your New Year’s resolutions and they're looking a lot like last year’s, it’s time to try something different!

What to do?

How about developing your Intentionality? It's an emotional intelligence competency. It means saying what you mean and meaning what you say; being able to focus and filter out distractions; and accepting responsibility for both your actions and your motives. It means being able to channel your emotions to work for you, not against you.

How do you learn it? The best way is to work with an emotional intelligence coach.

Learning EQ can’t be done through books alone. It’s good to take a course ( http://www.susandunn.cc/course.htm )to get the overview and learn the vocabulary, or read a book, for instance "Emotional Intelligence" by Goleman ( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0553375067/susandunnmome-20 ) but then you need to practice in social and emotional situations and get good feedback.

Some things you can’t just read about; you have to do them.

There’s a story going around about a student at the U. of Chicago. To graduate from that school you have to pass a swimming test. This young man showed up to take the test and nearly drown in Lake Michigan. When the unfortunate incident was over, they asked him why he had said he could swim when he couldn’t, and he said he had read all about it.

There are some things in life you need to learn experientially – by doing them.

Start working on your EQ skills and you’ll have a lot better luck with your list of New Year’s resolutions.

Author's Bio: 

Susan Dunn is a personal and professional development coach specializing in emotional intelligence. Visit her on the web at www.susandunn.cc and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.