“In the time you spent complaining about this, Susan, you
could’ve had it done.”

Did anyone else’s mother used to say that?

She also might’ve added that if I’d just gone ahead and done
it, I would:

1. Feel good about myself, with a sense of accomplishment
2. Free the energy of feeling like a slacker, feeling
guilty, and having the task hanging over my head
3. Have her goodwill and respect instead of her rancor

We both knew it was my chore to do the dishes.

How many “inevitable” tasks like that do you have on your
list? The sales call will have to be made, the realtor must
be fired, the relationship must be ended, the oven
thermostat must be fixed.

The Equalizer is a t.v. show, “dirty deeds done dirt cheap”
is a song, and 'deus ex machina' went out with Greek and
Roman tragedies.

When you procrastinate, you lose. You lose time, energy,
self-esteem, goodwill, trust, and timely solutions.

Because my mom held firm, I learned that it was best to go
ahead and get it over with. Of course you do that a few
times and the relief you get will be its own motivation.
Instead of that “little” nagging feeling that saps your
energy more than you know, you’re free to fly!

If someone keeps coming along behind you (or if you’re doing
this for your child, or report, or partner), the lesson will
not be learned. You’ll be reinforcing the whining and

Is writing that report that much worse than draining your
energy, sabotaging your self-esteem, annoying the people
around you, and making the situation worse?

My mom left the dishes right there in the sink and, as you
know, the longer the oatmeal sits in the pot, the harder it
is to clean.

“When you have a number of disagreeable duties to perform,
always do the most disagreeable first,” said Josiah Quincy.
Why not give it a try!

If you rely on the 'deus ex machina', you could be waiting a
long time, and you will also damage your sense of Personal

'Deus ex machina', in case you haven’t heard the phrase, is
Latin for “god from the machine” a dramatic device from the
5th century BC, particularly used by Euripides, the great
classical tragedian. When you write the play, you get to
write the ending, and all the “helps” along the way, as

How did it work? Our hero gets in trouble, serious trouble,
and what happens? A “god” is lowered by crane onto the
stage to solve the problem. We wish.

The phrase came to mean “any active agent who appears
unexpectedly to solve an apparently insoluble difficulty.”

Also called 'praying for divine intervention', if you come to rely on it, you’ll begin to feel more and more helpless. If you go ahead and tackle hard things yourself, you’ll build your confidence and sense of Personal Power, and earn the respect of yourself and others.

Author's Bio: 

©Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc . We know how important your personal and professional development are to you, so we’ve gathered the coaching, support and resources you need. Customized coaching programs, distance learning, training and EQ coach certification, eBooks and teleclasses. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc"> for FREE eZine. Call 210-496-0678 for coaching.