My girlfriend recently slapped me on the wrist for saying that when I was younger I only wanted to date gorgeous women. Apparently someone like me should be less fickle and know that real beauty was on the inside. I’ve been hearing this all my life from women who don’t think they are gorgeous and I don’t buy it.

I remember when my kids were born and I’ll be honest, they looked to me like over-baked potatoes. In fact, all newborns look like potatoes the only people who don’t see it are those photographers who stalk the maternity wards trying to make a financial killing selling over-priced pictures of little over-baked potatoes and the little over-baked potatoes sleep-deprived, drugged-up mummies. It’s true!!

However, I also remember when I looked at my children’s faces for the first time and they truly were gorgeous. It was at the same moment they recognised my great big face looking back at them and felt the love and adoration I felt for them. I like to think of that moment as the first time two beautiful souls catch a glimpse of each other and reflect back the truth of what each sees. So not so much love at first sight, but love from seeing our own inner gorgeousness reflected back at us through the eyes of another.

So guys, if that gorgeous face you once looked at now reminds you of a bulldog chewing a wasp! The truth is your seeing a reflection of your own mug; she’s just protecting her inner beauty.

And girls, if I had a pound for every time a female friend of mine says ‘I hate having my photo taken’ I could buy that Ferrari I just fell in love with! If you want to look gorgeous in a photograph, stop focussing on the jerk holding the camera and how uncomfortable it feels, instead release the beauty and gorgeousness that is inside you. And if all else fails think naughty nice thoughts and imagine the photographer is a semi naked Brad Pitt.

Have a great day and go release your spark!

Author's Bio: 

Ian Banyard is a UK Confidence Coach and international business trainer with over 20 years experience and some very public successes on local radio and through his national TV appearances – featuring on ITV’s This Morning Show and the highly acclaimed GMTV series “The House of Fear” and recently on a Channel Five series: “Help! I have a high maintenance wife”. Ian has helped hundreds of people overcome phobias and panic attacks and works with businesses and individuals helping them build self confidence and become more effective in their personal and professional lives through his Confidence Clinics. Visit