It is a fact that we will do more for other people than for ourselves. This really is quite a lopsided state of affairs when you consider that you are with you 24 hours every day through your entire life. We would drop friends who treated us in the same way that we treat ourselves.

You are critical of your performance, your looks, your possessions, you think you should do much better in your career or your relationships and so on. I am sure you will recognise at least part of this oh so familiar scenario. Our culture has done a very thorough job in ensuring that we do anything to be out of sorts with ourselves and very little to get to know the real core of ourselves.

The concept of appreciating you and accepting you as you are is totally alien to us. We "know" that are not perfect and therefore we do not deserve to have the things we desire. We have to constantly work on getting better in order to prove our worth.

Our education system is built on reward for good behaviour and performance. As a child you were rewarded for being good and punished when you misbehaved. The system had its rightful place because this is how we learn in the early stages of our development.

However, this system loses its effectiveness as you move on and enter the higher levels of your cognitive development.Yet society is ignorant of this vital fact and continues to use the good behaviour equals reward and bad behaviour equals punishment system without discrimination.If you fit in, are a dutiful hard worker your employer will love you and may even give you a rise.

Society assumes that you, and that means everyone, will behave badly have no morals and therefore has a complex system of rules, called law and order in place to make sure that you tow the line.

Granted, there have to be some basic rules so that society as a whole can function, however present convention is missing out on a fundamental point of our existence: Namely that as we develop and grow in our cognitive awareness our view of ourselves and our world deepens as it encompasses more of the big picture that is our existence.

As you begin to better understand how the fabric of the universe is woven your ability to deal with more complex situations increases and so does your ability to make finer differentiations about the nature of your reality.

The biggest stumbling block to your growth and also to your ability to understand and appreciate the true you is social convention which simply has not as yet caught up with the finer points of cognitive development. This is a huge handicap to personal growth and stops many but the most courageous to step forward and move beyond convention toward a new, expanded consciousness and self awareness.

Achieving this is often an immense struggle. Yet once you can break through to the eternal truth about the real you it is very liberating. You will at this point understand that you are always perfect no matter what you do.

At the higher states of consciousness you will automatically strive to do the right thing for yourself, your peers and for the world as a whole because you are gradually moving further away from ego centric levels to a more world centric view of everything.

At these levels you are also beginning to understand that you are part of the whole. This means that you encompass everything, the entire palette of the worlds emotions and behaviours from good to bad. You will also realise that you are always doing your very best at any given point and that it simply cannot be any other way. Once you have fully internalised this immense insight into the real you, you will automatically drop judgemental attitudes toward yourself and other people.

With this profound understanding compassion automatically grows and your ability to love all that is also begins to emerge. A cosmic view and unity consciousness are beginning to unfold. From this viewpoint you just have to appreciate yourself and do the right things for you and for others, because you do not only see your own viewpoint, but can see everyone else's viewpoint too.

The above is hardly rocket science but simply the developmental process unfolding in which we are all involved. But since there are so many barriers to overcome until you break through to the loftier heights of true self realisation and the subsequent self actualisation which this a natural byproduct at that point, only a small number of people get there.

However, this need not be so. You can of course advance your own personal growth by learning more about your true nature and understanding how the universe really works. The more you build your knowledge the more you accelerate the process of self appreciation.

A big help on the path to self appreciation is shadow clearing. We all have shadows, these are all those unresolved aspects of ourselves we do not like and which we tend to ignore as long as we can until one day they are begging to be dealt with and cannot be ignored any longer. My heartfelt advice to you is not to wait that long but to start right now.

Of you have areas in your life you are unhappy with odds are that you have unresolved shadows. Clearing them will clear you path to true self appreciation, peace and lasting happiness.

Author's Bio: 

Mercedes Oestermann van Essen is a human development coach, energy therapist and author specialising in trading and investment psychology and manifestation techniques.

Get your FREE COURSE 5 Little Known Secrets To Happiness at