Ever wanted your love for someone to last? Having trouble knowing how to really love someone and tell if it will stay? Do you want a strong relationship with another?


1. Be patient, kind, trustworthy, etc. regardless of how you feel at the moment. Never give up. If you really care for someone you must show those characteristics. Feelings will come and go, but love should not be based on feelings. It should be based on a mutual respect for one another, which one can show by being patient, kind, etc.

2. Communicate with the one you want to love. You will be able to fix problems and grow together. That will make you both stronger. Even if you feel like walking out, don't.

3. Agree to disagree. You and the one you love cannot agree all the time, but it is a must that you understand differences.

4. Make sure you think alike and have common interests, but don't be copies of one another.

5. Make an effort to make things work between you. It won't always be easy.

6. Concentrate on the things that brought you together (i.e. God, common interests, whatever works for you); that will make your relationship stronger.


• If you lose feelings for the person, keep doing loving things for that person and the feelings will come back to support the love.
• Even after you've fallen into a real love chances are you'll still find other people attractive. That's okay; it's a good test. Don't feel bad if that happens. Just let those feelings for others pass (Feelings come and go easily and you cannot base a real relationship off of them.), and realize that what you have with the one you love is something that won't fade away. While you like what you see in other people, it's only surface stuff compared to the relationship you've worked so hard at.


• Love is a two way street. You can follow the steps and still not have things work out. That is not your fault. The other person has to give as much to the relationship as you do.
• Sometimes people are just not romantically compatible.
• A real love must have intimacy, passion, and commitment. See this link for a detailed explanation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love. Without all three the love is not ideal, and probably will not last.

Source: WikiHow

Author's Bio: 

This definition is part of a series covering the topic of Love. Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz are the Official Selfgrowth.com Guides to Love.

Now you can order the Doctors' new book entitled, Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage at Amazon.com or from their website with FREE Images of Love DVD. With 25 years of research experience on successful marriage and their own 41-year marriage, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz know what makes marriage work. From their hundreds of interviews with happily married couples, representing 15,000 years of marriage, they've discovered the seven pervasive characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book exposes the secrets for success through these poignant, real life stories.

Get started with “the marriage doctors” by taking their Marriage Quiz or asking them a question at Ask The Marriage Doctors or downloading their FREE eBook at Salad Recipes For Love and Health.

During their distinguished careers the Doctors have received some 60 local, state, and national awards; published nearly 200 articles and manuscripts; delivered over 1000 speeches, workshops and public presentations; traveled throughout the world; and appeared on radio and television and in the print media. Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is Dean and Professor of Family and Counseling Therapy at the University of Missouri in St. Louis and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz is President of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC.

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