One of the most challenging issues parents face is coping with their child's pain. Too often, when seeing their child in pain parents go into "Save the Day" mode rather than seeing the opportunity the challenge offers. The process of coping with their child's pain and supporting their children can help their child develop strengths and abilities they will carry into the future.

Lynn watched her daughter Heather struggle with escalating teasing at school. Lynn had to face her own sense of helplessness in the face of Heather's struggle. Lynn and Heather brainstormed together. Lynn helped Heather by asking her questions about the teasing and it's effects on her. They explored Heather's ideas and discovered strengths she could use in minimizing the teasing. They also tried out ideas with role playing. Lynn, at times, grew anxious and struggled with her desire to rescue Heather. However, she refused to see Heather as a victim and continued to support her, knowing that she could find her way through the problem.

Lynn and Heather's collaboratiion not only led to Heather experiencing her own competence, but also forged a stronger, more fulfilling mother-daughter relationship.

Author's Bio: 

Nancy Ruben, MFT, helps individuals, families and couples resolve conflicts and create the nourishing, healthy relationships they truly desire. For more formation, visit