“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” Agnes Repplier

One of the hardest illusions to die is the one thatsomeone else can make you happy or unhappy,joyful or angry.

We can be happy with another person only if weare happy with ourselves–and vice versa.

Emotions are feelings “in motion”. Feelings aretemporary because they are moving, unless we hangon to them as if they were life lines.

For example: Recently I felt deeply hurt by a letterfrom a friend criticizing my latest novel. I was hurtbecause I agreed with it. The feeling engulfed me foran hour or so, until I remembered the many ravesabout my work. Had I agreed with the raves?

Then I asked myself why I was still feeling hurt. Ididn’t need to. Besides, my work was not me, it wassimply my work. So I re-read the letter. What I hadperceived as harsh criticism I could now read betweenthe lines and realize the letter said more about itswriter than it said about my work.

Another time, when a colleague emailed asking me toformat my article for his website, I reacted with actual pain. In tears, I said “I can’t do anything right!” Thatphrase came straight from my unconscious mind, straightout of my childhood. As soon as a recognized its sourceI was able to go back to the email and very simplyformat my article. He didn’t cause my pain. I did.

When I received his happy response, I realized he didn’tmake me happy. I did.

Evelyn Cole
The Whole Mind Writer

Cole's legendary novels revitalize your reading. Ideal present, too, for the man or woman on your list. Visit http:// www.coles-poetic-license.com to order a signed copy for immediate delivery.

Author's Bio: 

Evelyn Cole has published two novels, several poems and short stories,an inter-curricular textbook, an e-course of directed writing to access the unconscious mind and two websites. She writes, “The process of writingfrom experience and observations forces the writer to examine all facets of what it means to be human. If the process is true, the product will be.”