The opinions we hold of ourselves are often influenced by the views and observations of our family, friends, schools, work, society, etc. These opinions are often based on inferences, assumptions and the subjective interpretation of experiences from earlier times in our lives, when we were unable to see ourselves objectively. These subjective experiences have conditioned us to look to others - rather than ourselves - for the answers, insights and resolution of the issues we experience. In effect, we have dis-empowered ourselves by allowing others to determine who we are and who we should be.

There are ways however, by which we can change our views and recognize that it’s we who control our destiny. We, who can choose to let go of the old thought forms which create fear, lack and limitation. So, what can you do to release these limitations? I offer these two simple, yet highly effective exercises drawn from my book “The Higher Self Handbook of Tools for Transformation” (59 Ways to Create a New You!) available through my website at

In my book, I utilize the principle of the Higher Self - which in my mind is synonymous with the concept of the Soul, Spirit, etc. I perceive it as that part of ourselves which is higher, clearer, more aware than our every day consciousness. Let me expand on this thought. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew unquestionably what to do or say without thinking it through - even if you’ve had no real experience with that kind of situation before? It feels as if you just intuitively know what to say or do - that there’s no need to question it because it feels so right! This is how I perceive the Higher Self. By calling on this clearer, higher aspect of ourselves consciously, we can more easily let go of the old fears and experiences that keep us from accepting ourselves for whom we are.

How to Use this Exercise:

Think of a thought, fear, trauma or other experience that you feel is keeping you from living life more fully. Then use this statement “I call upon my Higher Self to assist me to release the experience(s) that underlie the (insert the condition, ailment, issue or trauma) at its source as it serves my highest good.” Adding the statement “as it serves my highest good” helps to further empower this request by taking your ego out of the picture so you can more fully receive the assistance your Higher Self will bring through to you.

By consciously focusing on the thought, fear, trauma or other experience that you feel is keeping you from living life more fully, you will create a connection between your mind and the issue that needs to be released. Just saying the phrase is insufficient because it is simply an exercise of the head. When you consciously connect with the issue it is no longer a wishful (ego-based thought) but rather a focused, active communication between you and your Higher
Self. Depending on the significance of the issue a release might occur right away, in a few days or over a significantly longer period if it is a very deep or core issue. The good news however, is that with each repetition, the blocked energy that forms this issue will be released incrementally until it is fully cleared.

So, how will you know if this process worked? Think about the issue you have asked for assistance to release. Does the memory or experience of the issue come to you easily or is it a bit more difficult to conjure up? The more difficult it is to conjure up or the more neutral you feel about it indicates how much of it you have released..


The second exercise I would like to discuss concerns forgiveness. We’ve been taught to grant forgiveness to those who have offended us and ask forgiveness from those whom we have offended. This is a good practice yet, not always possible. Consider that some of those we have been hurt by or whom we have hurt are no longer available for us to speak with. Maybe they’ve passed away, moved or we’ve lost touch with them in some other way. How can we release the guilt if we cannot connect with them? Additionally, what about those acts and transgressions we commit against ourselves in the form of negative thoughts and admonishments that are often much harsher than we would project upon another - who do we turn to for forgiveness in these situations?

If we accept the premise that we are all learning lessons and therefore fallible, doesn’t it make sense that each of us is entitled to the same right of forgiveness for ourselves that we might extend to or ask of another? It seems to me that if we can accept this premise there is great healing that can be achieved.

It has often been said that guilt is the most useless of emotions as are the sister emotions of regret and remorse. Why? Because they are all concerned with the past and things that cannot be changed. Doesn’t it seem senseless to continually beat ourselves up for things that cannot be changed? (I don’t know about you but I’m not that much of a Masochist). Only through the letting go of these emotions (issues) can we move forward and grow again. Now, I’m not suggesting that they need to be forgotten. The process I offer you will not erase the memory - only the emotional pain of the experience. However, when one allows themselves to let go of the guilt, remorse and/or regret there is a corresponding awakening of the heart to greater compassion - not just for the individual but the situation as well. By freeing the blocked energy (represented by the guilt, remorse and/or regret) you will experience a greater acceptance of yourself and others as well.

How to Use this Exercise

Think of something you hold guilt, regret or remorse over. It can be small, significant or anything in between. Now ask yourself “am I ready to let go of this feeling”? The more you are truly willing to let go, the more you will experience the benefits that come from this exercise. Keep in mind that you can use this approach for each and every experience you hold guilt, regret and/or remorse over however, I would suggest you take them one at a time.

Now call upon your Higher Self and state “ I ask for your assistance to release the (guilt, regret, and/or remorse) I hold within this experience as it serves my highest good”. That’s all there is to it. The very best part is that you really don’t need to feel worthy or justified to ask for this release. The willingness to let go is all it takes and rest assured that whatever you ask to be released, regardless of how large or how small, will be released - even the most heinous actions you can imagine will be forgiven as long as it is asked for with sincerity. The success of this method is wholly dependent on how willing you are to release it. The more you are open to releasing these energies the more they will release. We expend considerable energy to hold our issues in place even if we don’t realize it. By utilizing this method, we can reclaim our personal power more fully. I have seen many of my clients lives changed - some dramatically - as they let go of the guilt they held, even if it was from very early on in their lives.

Try it for a week and see for yourself how it can help you.

We all yearn for the time when we will have cleared the thoughts and experiences that have held us a captive to our past. A time when all will walk the path of unconditional love and acceptance. Yet, in order for that day to come, each of us needs to take an active role in our own healing.

Take the time to look at your life. Look at who you are and who you have been. Look at who you are becoming and know - that in each and every moment that you choose to embrace the higher, clearer insight and awareness of your Higher Self, your Soul - every time you release a piece of the fear, uncertainty, trauma or experience that has held you within its grip - you move forward a corresponding amount towards that ideal of unconditional love you desire. This action increases the light that you experience and radiate to others.

As your light grows your reality begins to shift and the things that you thought certain and immutable now become more fluid, allowing you to expand your view of yourself and your world - bringing you closer to the realization that it is you who have created your reality as it is and it's you who can change it.

Just by changing your thoughts!!!

And you thought it would be difficult...

Author's Bio: 

Gary is an Inspirational/Empowerment Speaker and Coach who has been assisting individuals, groups and organizations through presentations and private sessions for the past 12 years. He is the author of several books that focus on self empowerment as well as a Reiki Master/Teacher and Healer. To learn more about the products and services Gary offers please visit his website at