Broken Promises

Most of the promises we break are the promises we make to ourselves. In some cases, broken promises can become almost “second nature” in the sense that we fail to realize the seriousness of the problem. Take a minute to think about the promises you made to yourself this week and have already broken. Remember the day you committed to “no more sweets,” then a co-worker celebrated their birthday with a delicious cake from your favorite bakery? How could you possibly hurt everyone’s feelings by not celebrating with the rest of the gang? You couldn’t, so you indulged! Remember that promise you made to yourself about not putting any additional purchases on your charge account until you paid off the already too high balance? Then there was the “too good to refuse” once-a-year-sale at your favorite high-end clothing store? How could you pass up a fabulous new outfit at that price? You couldn’t, so you bought it! The power of rationalization has become an all too familiar tool for justifying our choices- good or bad.

We may not consciously realize it, however, when we rationalize our behavior to make ourselves feel OK, our integrity suffers. Rationalization is the tool we use to convince ourselves that our actions were “not that bad” if we’ve deviated from our original plan. Try this exercise whenever you find yourself rationalizing: envision a big red flag signaling that you are “out of integrity.” The more self-aware we are of our actions, the more we expand our consciousness. As a result, we are called upon more often to play a bigger role in the world. Staying aligned and “living in integrity” is key. We have a responsibility to our core values for the greater good of all.

Integrity means a firm adherence to a code of values. It is not easy living totally and fully aligned with the values we establish for ourselves, yet it is very important we create a firm, clear “base of integrity” and make our choices from this core base. Most of us would say we are committed to telling the truth, keeping our promises, respecting others as well as ourselves and to arrive each day fully prepared for life. And yet, we often compromise ourselves, our personal value and, our integrity when we make choices based on the fear of disappointing someone else.

When we base our life on pleasing others, we create entangled, confusing relationships. Lines of communication become blurred, resulting in misunderstandings and misinterpretations. The more out of alignment we become with our true self, the more our emotions become buried or exaggerated. Life becomes more and more challenging and less and less satisfying.
We become resentful and mentally exhausted, yet we can’t really explain why. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, our life’s situations and the people around us, we feel drained and confused. Our “life force energy” supply quickly becomes depleted.

Living in integrity
Life is “energy in motion.” When we live in integrity and align ourselves with a higher awareness of the Self, our energy flows freer. We become more authentic and live life as dynamic and powerful human beings. Our inner alignment is reflected in our outer affairs. In essence, we reflect what we project. We feel good about ourselves and others feel good about us. When we live in integrity, our energy flows with more abundance. We are more in tune with our intuition; we hear the inner voice as the voice of our Higher Self. It speaks over the “mind rationalizing” voice. We are better able to use discernment in our interactions and dealings with others. Others respect us because we respect ourselves. They get a “good feeling” about us. Instead of viewing problems as negative obstacles, we embrace them as opportunities. It becomes easier for us to call on creativity when we need the perfect solution to any given situation.

Take responsibility
Life changes when we become clear about our priorities and take responsibility to align ourselves on the inside with our core values. We are more fully integrated in mind, body and spirit. Our energy becomes more clear and powerful. We are aware of our emotions and know how to consciously “feel” our feelings and express them appropriately, rather than express them on reactionary or pent up emotion and frustration. We let go of regrets, shame and guilt about our actions. Worry, fear and anxiety lesson as we release the need to manipulate the world. Our communications become more clear and are expressed purposefully because we are confident, clear and focused in our intentions. We become better listeners, validating others’ perceptions and feelings without judgment or criticism because we have less filters analyzing words, tone and body language. We connect with others more intimately because we are more connected intimately with ourselves.

Making apologies
When life feels out of control, let it be a signal that somewhere you are “out of integrity.” When you arrive late for an appointment or forget to return a phone call, offer your sincere apology and quickly clear the air. “I apologize” is enough said. There is no need to explain, rationalize, and make excuses or promise to do better the next time. When you make an agreement and fail to follow through you change your energy flow. When you rationalize or make excuses you further change the flow of your energy and begin to create a tangled web around you. Stop, take a moment to reflect and make any necessary adjustments. When there is a birthday party at work, celebrate fully but pass on the cake. Believe me; a month later no one is going to remember you didn’t eat cake at their party! Remove yourself from the temptation to “just look” at the mall when you’re committed to having manageable debt. Trust me, the store, will be there ready and willing to accept your money when you’re ready!

Living in integrity sets a new pace for our lives. When we tell the truth, keep our promises and respect ourselves we align with integrity. Our energy begins to flow like a smooth, tranquil river with life’s beauty thriving all around us. We feed others by giving freely from our infinite inner resource. As we raise our consciousness, we raise the consciousness of others. We love more because we are more loved. Living in integrity changes our entire outlook on life. Make a promise to yourself to live in integrity each and every day. It’s a promise worth keeping.

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Author's Bio: 

Sharon Marquart is a Certified Life and Spiritual Coach, Public Speaker, Teacher and Published Author. Her coaching practice is, Living at Yes, (You Embracing Spirit). She inspires and motivates others to embrace the Spirit of life, to Know their Presence, to Feel their Power and to Live their Passions. Sharon is committed to motivate and inspire others to live their best life. Sharon has written “Living With Soulful Purpose, “ “9 Steps to a Happier Healthier You,” and “4 Principles for Living Abundantly.” She can be reached at or e-mail Sharon