Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
By Curt Doll

After a great deal of physical, mental, emotional and most significant – spiritual suffering, my ego became deflated to a human level. Actually, on an inner level, my ego was already nonexistent due to a severe inferiority complex. On the surface I conveyed an image of complete self-sufficiency. But, deep inside I was falling apart.

I have discovered that humility has two opposite poles while humility exists in the middle. On the negative pole there is self-deprecation. On the other pole is self-aggrandizement.

Self-deprecation is one of two antitheses to true humility, simply because Yahweh – (the Great I Am) created us and to put it in the vernacular; “God doesn’t make junk.” To put oneself down is to insult the work of God.

Self-aggrandizement is the other antithesis to true humility, obviously, because this character flaw says to the world and worst of all to oneself; “I am God”. I am greater than other human beings and in like manner, I am degrading their value, again insulting the work of God.

It is no coincidence that Yeshua placed the Beatitudes in the order that he did.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” - is followed by: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – because the one is the prelude to the other.

It is my interpretation of the two that, first I need to perceive myself as becoming nothing in the presence of God and all of creation. Mankind is constantly referred to in the Old Testament as being nothing more than smoke and the like. In relation to eternity, this is an exact description of human life.

However, in every one of the Beatitudes, humankind is referred to as being Blessed. In the Biblical sense, to be blessed is to be both divinely loved and regarded and further to have super spiritual powers bestowed upon oneself. The beginning of these infinite blessings is a healthy, realistic understanding of my true relationship with my beloved Yahweh. My body is nothing more than smoke; my spirit within is eternal, but I remain a beloved child of Yahweh, nothing more, nothing less.

When my only understanding of myself is that I am worth nothing, that my life is no more than smoke, I become despondent and sink into a deep state of mourning. At this point I can flounder in self-pity. I can succumb to total inaction and slowly whither away into a state of mental, emotional, moral and spiritual lifelessness.

At the age of 40 I was in such a state. I can see now how infinite the power of love really is. At this time I was newly divorced and was restrained from contact with my two beloved sons. I was lying on my parents sofa in a complete state of inertia and self-pity and from her vast resources of love, my mom asked me if I had had enough? I said I had. She then contacted the person who had exactly what I needed. It is my belief that because of the depth of her love relationship with Yahweh, she was guided to the one person who could help me heal through this divine guidance. My recovery has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the God of my understanding whom I call my beloved Yahweh.

This person allowed me to grieve, to mourn my loss of self, without indulging in my self-pity. He, I wholly believe, was guided by my beloved Yahweh to give me the necessary encouragement I needed while at the same time addressing my character flaws which had placed me in this condition. Through this slow process of healing, I eventually began to understand my own personal value while at the same time recognizing a healthy understanding of my relationship with my fellow human beings as one of sameness. No matter how great or low in the clouded eyes of humanity any of us are, our Creator loves each and everyone of us equally, simply because the love of our Creator is infinite and can be no more less nor great for anyone of us.

The book of James 1:1 – 3 tells us: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”.

These three verses reveal the necessity of encounters with pain which, as has been revealed to me, are little more than minor, temporary discomforts relative to the eternal and boundless joy of existing in the wholeness of the eternal Spirit.

Becoming perfect can only be realized in the Spirit because nothing, no nothing in this temporary world we presently exist in is perfect. While still here on earth I need to be content with progress. In this world, change is inevitable, but growth is optional. At this point in my life, during most days, I choose to engage in progress. As an imperfect human being, there are many days that I falter. But having had a taste of the ineffable beauty and joy experienced through growing in the love of the Spirit, today I choose spiritual progress.

And so, the mourning process is of absolute necessity, both from loss of persons and things, but of infinitely greater importance, from loss of self. Through this process we are taken to a deeper understanding of our need for more. That this world has nothing of lasting value. That there just may be more to be had. But, where and how do we find this something more?...

Author's Bio: 

Curt is a graphic designer, illustrator, stained glass designer, multimedia designer, painter and creator of giclée fine art prints.