Beating Road Rage

The other day I was driving down a four lane road at about 3:00 in the afternoon. There was light traffic and I was in the right lane. All of a sudden this car cuts right in front of my as he swerves into my lane and THEN he hits his brakes. My first impulse was to get both of my hands working…. one to blow the horn… and the other to give this jerk the finger. How many of you have had that happen to you? Now, my inner voice was talking to me, and it said, "Look at that jerk….. he cuts right in front of you. He doesn't give a dam about you, or the other vehicles behind you who had to slam on their brakes. He doesn’t give a rip that if he almost causes an accident. He’s decided at the last minute that he wants to turn right…And…I’ll bet he’s not even going to bother signaling!!! I hear that dialogue in my mind…in a split second.

Then…instead of reacting instinctively . …I start counting to 10. As I count I find myself starting to think…my anger dissipates and I start to wonder why this driver cut me off the way he did. This is a technique that I taught myself to do whenever I struggle with Impulse Control, an area of EI. We are unable to hold more than one thought at a time, so when I am counting I am unable to focus on the anger that I am feeling, allowing it to dissipate to the point that when I am finished counting, my thoughts have regained control over my emotions.

Then I hear it…a siren..an emergency vehicle is coming up in the left lane..the one that the driver just pulled away from. The driver that pulled in front of me had obviously heard it before I had and was being a responsible and courteous citizen, the opposite of what I had, only moments before, thought him to be. Imagine how I would have felt, had I given him the horn and finger. Or worse, imagine if I had, in a fit of anger and frustration, decided to go around the guy and slammed into the ambulance causing a huge accident!

The problem with road rage is that it spirals, and often doesn’t end when we get to our destination. The residue stays with us for some time to come. Before we lose the anger it can cause us more grief in our lives. Unable to take our frustrations out on whomever we see that has caused them on the road; we carry them with us, all the way to the workplace or our homes. If we’re on our way to work we might end up there in a foul mood and find ourselves taking our frustrations out on our coworkers, boss, employees, secretary or whoever else we are in contact with. If we’re on our way home we might snap at our wife/husband/partner, or yell at the kids and pets.