Asking For Help Is Not A Sign Of Weakness

We all need help every now and then. Financial, spiritual, physical and emotional help that comes from others to get us through difficult times in our lives. Many of us are unable to recognize when help is needed or reluctant to ask for the help that others can provide.

As a very independent person, I wanted to do most things myself. I took care of my yard, cleaned my house, shopped for food and freely traveled for business and leisure activities. Then came the day when all that had to change.

An injury left me in a wheelchair, possibly for the rest of my life. To many, it is obvious by the wheelchair that I can use extra assistance. It is a visible symbol suggesting dependence. Early on, I became dependent on people for my very basic health needs. During two years of rehabilitation, I have seen tremendous progress and a return of my independence.

My first major milestone, about a year after I was injured, was driving my new minivan. The van is equipped with hand controls and a power ramp. The day I picked up the van, I drove for hours with no route or destination in mind. I just wanted to be free. Free to move. Free to decide where to go and how to get there.

Transportation led me to independence. I could drive to visit friends and family. I could drive just for the fun of it. I could get myself to business appointments and speaking engagements. I started to feel like I was in the groove again.

Last month marked another milestone towards my independence. I flew, by myself, from Columbus to Orlando, in order to deliver three days of training. My personal independence day had arrived. It had taken two years in order to develop the strength and skill set needed to get on an airplane, maneuver in the community, and care for myself in a hotel.

I was seldom really alone on this trip. People at the airport, airline, taxi service, hotel, restaurant and training facility all were eager to offer VIP service.

Doesn't it amaze you at times when people do things to help you? There are an overwhelming number of people in this world who are amazingly kind and thoughtful. Doing things to help other people makes us feel better. Oftentimes we feel honored that another person asked us for help. It is better to serve than to be served.

As I shared my story of the people who helped me on this trip, to a high school friend at dinner, he replied, "Rosemarie you bring out the best in people. You just give them a chance to be as good as they really are."

How can people suggest that they are dependent on others in order to reach their goals? What's wrong with asking people for help? Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather shows insight in knowing how to achieve the goal.

We are all dependent on others in order for our achievements to be attained. Just look around you at the services that are performed for you that you take for granted. Someone delivers your mail, newspaper and packages, hauls away your trash, provides your residence with utilities, maintains your car, and grows and processes your food. You depend on their services for your everyday living, but seldom think of yourself as being dependent.

We strive to find a balance between being independent and dependent. The point of balance will be different for each person. There is a peace of mind in knowing that others will be there to help you when you are in need. Our stress level goes down.

Our family and friends serve as our foundational support structure. In a family setting there is an interdependence between all the members. At some times in a person's life the dependence upon one family member is stronger than at other times. This reliance enriches strong relationships. It gives the family members a chance to bond as a team, to grow and to have new experiences.

Oftentimes we are afraid to ask for help. To many of us it is a sign that we are weak. We become reluctant to ask and try to do it ourselves or else abandon the thought and give up. We are missing out on so many opportunities due to our fear to ask others to lend a hand.

We must Identify what we can do alone and what we can do with limited and with full assistance. Then ask. It's that simple, ask. Don't jump to conclusions and assume that the person we want to ask will not be in a position to help. Wait until they reach this conclusion themselves. If they can't help, then ask if they know someone else who can.