Another Word For Failure

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail¡K
Thomas Edison¡¦s quote as his laboratory burned to the ground

Failure is not an event, objective, enemy, irreversible, stigma, avoidable, or final. It is only a lesson. There are five rules for being human: 1) we learn lessons; 2) there are no mistakes, only lessons; 3) lessons are repeated until they are learned; 4) if you don¡¦t learn easily, it gets harder; and 5)you know you have learned when your actions change.
The main difference between people who achieve and people who are average is how they perceive failure and how they respond to it. Paralysis, procrastination, purposeless, self-pity, excuses, misused energy, and hopelessness are the results when people are stuck in the fear cycle. Some characteristics that indicate people have not gotten over their past difficulties are: comparison, rationalization, isolation, regret, and bitterness. When people think that their errors, mistakes, or obstacles are the fault of someone else, they are traveling on the failure highway. Five signs of this activity are:
„« Blow Up: Angrily overreact to a situation; take out frustrations on themselves or others around them
„« Cover Up: Cover up mistakes or deny
„« Speed Up: Try to leave their trouble behind by working harder and faster and not changing their direction
„« Back Up: Try to justify
„« Give Up: Simply quit

Remember taking that vacation and remembering all the things that went wrong at the office? Don¡¦t check into the ¡§Hotel of Regret¡¨ This is a trip that you book for yourself. It is staying in the past and repeating the same old, same old without change. That is unfortunate. However, the good news is that you can cancel any time and you are the only one who can do so.
In John C. Maxwell¡¦s book, Failing Forward, he shows an acronym that keeps mistakes in perspective:
„« Messages that give us feedback about life
„« Interruptions that should cause us to reflect and think
„« Signposts that direct us to the right path
„« Tests that push us toward greater maturity
„« Awakenings that keep us in the game, mentally
„« Keys that we can use to unlock the next door of opportunity
„« Explorations that let us journey where we have never been before
„« Statements about our development and progress

In Zen Buddhism, failure is defined as missing the mark. It is a time to evaluate the situation. Rethink what you know with what you learned to create a better model. Overcome challenges and move on, as there is no such thing as permanence. Failure is not what happens to you, it is what happens in you. The sense of failure is created within yourself. You may not be able to control the hand dealt to you, only how you play it. Your circumstances and your contentment are unrelated. You are in control of assessing the impact.
How do you define risk? The traps that make people back away from risk are: embarrassment, rationalization, unrealistic expectation, fairness, timing, or inspiration. Usually, risk is subjective. It usually involves change. Evaluate any risk, not by the fear (false evidence appearing real) that it generates in you or the probability of your success, but by the value of the goal desired. When you set your goals, are you taking enough risks? Are you stretching or growing to your goal, or not pushing yourself? The greatest risk is in not taking any.
Thomas Alva Edison held 1,093 patents for different inventions. Many of them, like the light bulb, the phonograph, and the motion picture camera, were brilliant creations that have a huge influence on our everyday life. However, not everything he created was a success; he also had a few failures. ¡§I have not failed. I have merely found 10,000 ways that won¡¦t work,¡¨ Edison said.
When you find yourself pondering your perceived failure, mistakes, or missing the mark, ask these questions:
„« What caused the failure: the situation, someone else, or you?
„« Was what happened truly a failure or did you fall short?
„« What successes are contained in the failure?
„« What can you learn from what happened?
„« Are you grateful for the experience?
„« How can you turn this into a success?
„« Who can help you with this issue?
„« Where do you go from here?

Joshua Lionel Cowen finally achieved the success he really wanted: he was the person who invented toy trains in 1900. Cowen was actually trying to invent something else when he invented toy trains. He originally intended to create a store window display; a battery-powered toy car that traveled on a circle of track. People wanted to buy the display more than the real merchandise for sale. Cowen started Lionel Model Trains.

Here are fifteen steps to move you forward:
1. Realize there is one major difference between average people and achievers¡Xhow they perceive mistakes and how they respond.
2. Define failure differently.
3. Remove the ¡§you¡§ from failure.
4. Take action and reduce your fear¡Xtake more risks.
5. Change your response to failure by taking responsibility.
6. Do not let the failure from outside get inside you.
7. Say good-bye to yesterday.
8. Change yourself and your world will change.
9. Get over yourself and start giving to yourself.
10. Find the benefit in every bad experience.
11. If at first you do succeed, try something harder.
12. Learn from the bad experience and make it a good one.
13. Work on what weakens you.
14. Understand that there is not much difference between failure and success.
15. Get up, get over it, and get going.
If you ever find yourself looking at certain failure squarely in the face, you are in pretty good company. Do not quit. There are many starters in life, but very few finishers. When the going gets tough, you get tough. A person with a major purpose never gives up-no matter how long and tough the road is; instead, they become more determined. There will be times when everything in you will tell you to quit, but if you hang in there and keep your vision statement in front of you, you must succeed. Each day you build the intensity of your vision. Keep focused and the law of harmonious attraction will become a magnet. You will attract everything you need; the ideas, plans, money and people you need to help you.

Deborah Baker-Receniello is CEO of DBR Life Strategies & Business Coach, Inc. Deborah has advanced degrees in Counseling Psychology and Business Administration and is a Certified Life Strategies and Business Coach. She is a noted speaker, author, and facilitator.
Deborah partners with you to design and grow yourself personally and your businesses, attracting more clients and making more money.
Deborah is the author of ¡§Why It Works! The Science Behind Manifesting Everything You Desire¡¨,
Play a Bigger Game! Proven Strategies to Design and grow Your Successful Small Business and
101 Great Ways to Live Your Life Volume 2, Co-authored with Brian Tracy & Zig Ziglar, et al
You may contact Deborah at:
www.dbrlifecoach.com deborah@dbrlifecoach.com