Occasionally, very occasionally, it may be prudent to take precautions and put up some kind of defensive wall against potential marauders. But our society and communities today appear to have moved to extremes in reaction to the fear that is sweeping into many corners of our lives. Do the barriers, the border searches, the restrictions, the patrolling helicopters really make us feel more secure, or more fearful?

I hear the signs of insecurity on a personal level almost every day, whether people are talking about their professional or private lives. The signs are in the defenses they put up against others, sometimes those closest to them, when they feel under attack. One senior manager reported how she went on her guard when her subordinates appeared to question a decision. A man told me how he closed down when his wife criticized his behaviour.

That barbed wire we put up is there because we feel insecure. It indicates “keep away” when what we probably want is to be nurtured and appreciated. Those needs too arise from our insecurity, and that insecurity is exacerbated when we cannot ask for those things.

The development of inner security is our own personal work. Nobody else can give it to us. Feeling secure is an element of Emotional Fitness and a way towards the peace that we all desire. When you take up the cutters and start snipping away at the barbed wire you will notice how the world does seem, after all, a better and more peaceful place.

In peace

Warren Redman

Author's Bio: 

Warren Redman trained in the UK as a psychotherapist, facilitator and coach and has developed his own unique style of Emotional Fitness Coaching. He is president of the Emotional Fitness Institute (formally the Centre for Inner Balancing), writing about, teaching and coaching people in Emotional Fitness. He is the author of fifteen books, including the Award-winning The 9 steps to Emotional Fitness, Achieving Personal Success and Recipes for Inner Peace.

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