One of the most difficult things to do is disclosing to your dating partner that you have genital herpes. It demands courage, although it is the best thing to do in your relationship. Many individuals, therefore, evade the subject or wait for the most opportune time which never comes. Your date might be herpes positive yet hasn’t told. Only her manner of behavior suggests that she is deeply troubled.

Having realized that herpes is prevalent; do you know your girlfriend’s herpes status? Here are some of the reasons she may find it hard to tell you she has herpes:

1. Embarrassment

Perhaps your date feels too ashamed to talk about her condition with you. Such a person can’t just gather the courage to open up on such a matter. That could be aggravated by a past similar confession which didn’t go well with her. On the other hand, she could fear the relationship will come to an end if such an issue comes to the surface. Still, the embarrassment could be stemmed to the fear of the information leaking to the public then be condemned as sexually promiscuous. Such a person will always avoid sexually related talks or give constant excuses for not being ready for sex.

Keeping a good conversation is the lifeline of any relationship. Time her when she is in a good mood then lead the conversation.

2. Believed to have been healed of the infection

Herpes attacks come and go. Often there are medications to suppress the infection. So if your partner takes the medication the visible symptoms will go away. Most people falsely believe that once they no longer manifest the visible signs of the disease, they are completely safe.

Genital herpes is common and at times can be dormant in your body. Regular testing for the infection is the best option.

3. Willfully abstaining from testing

At times your body could show symptoms that point towards the possibility of having a herpes infection. There are individuals that when faced with such a situation, they deliberately stay away from testing. They fear that they might turn out to have the herpes virus.

Deliberately refusing to go for herpes testing puts you at risk of spreading the disease to your partner. Do you know testing does not make you positive or negative about herpes? It simply reveals your health status. Testing will clear the doubt. If you turn positive then there are medications and the appropriate lifestyle you will then have to follow.
Encourage your partner to go for testing. You can do so by going for herpes test jointly

4. Still looking for the opportune time

Believe me finding the right setting to tell your partner that you have herpes is not an easy task. There are divided opinions whether to bring up the issue on a first date or not. Still, others wait until the relationship gets steady. Therefore lack of the right opportunity could be a good reason your girlfriend hasn’t told you she has herpes

5. Waiting for the question to pop up

She might have gone for the test. And has the test result ready. Yet she hasn’t opened up to tell you about her status. She could be waiting for you to pop up the question. So have you asked her of her herpes health condition?

The easiest way to do so is to first go for the test before you have sex. Then share the test results with her, at the same time explaining the benefits of going for the test. Finally, you can ask her when she last went for the herpes testing.

6. Haven’t seen any symptoms

Some people get infected with herpes at an early age. For instance a mother with an outbreak during delivery or participating in oral sex puts one at risk of contracting the disease. So it is possible to live for quite a long period without witnessing any symptoms of the disease. That is likely to be so when the victim hasn’t participated in any genital to the genital sexual union.

Genital herpes can be acquired in other ways apart from sexual union. Any contact with the sores, through oral sex or sharing sex toys puts you at risk. It is therefore advisable to go for regular testing even when you haven’t portrayed any symptoms.

7. Willfully intending to infect you

When you are shortly to enter into a new relationship, make it a rule to go for herpes and other sexually transmitted infection tests. Although few, there are individuals who knowingly wishes to pas over the herpes simplex virus.


As soon as you realize that you have genital herpes, it’s in order to inform your spouse or sexual partner. But even before you are infected go for a checkup once or twice a year. The earlier you learn of your herpes infection the better chance you have of curbing the spread of the infection. You don’t have to wait until the symptoms show up so as to go for the test.

Author's Bio: aims to help you understand herpes better and teach you how to live with herpes.