We all experience pain in some form but not knowing how to move “Beyond the Pain,” may result in self-hate. Here are 5 ways you may be practicing self-hate without knowing it:

1. You believe everyone is against you. You cannot seem to accept anyone who tries to show you love or care but allow your mind and thoughts to create illusions out of fear of rejection which alters your mindset. This creates limited beliefs that may be had to let go of.

2. You choose to hold on to the past. Your past experiences always surface in your present and conversations. What happened to you in the past should be left in the past so that you can focus on the present moment. Learn to let go of the past so that you can leave in the moment and prepare for the future.

3. You find it hard to forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness liberates you from those who hurt you as well as from the pain. “You cannot love if you cannot forgive.” – Kemi Sogunle (excerpt, “Beyond the Pain ©2014. All Rights Reserved)

4. You constantly blame others and do not see the reason why you should take responsibility for your actions that may have led to some of the consequences you are facing. “Every choice you make, results in a consequence you face.” – Kemi Sogunle (excerpt, “Beyond the Pain.” ©2014. All Rights Reserved)

5. You cannot accept the truth. You tend to find ways to avoid dealing with the truth but you always have to remember that love delights in the truth. “You cannot love yourself if you cannot embrace the truth.” – Kemi Sogunle

Some of these signs can lead to you developing narcissistic behavior if not addressed quickly. They also prevent you from healing and allow you to shift into a place of ego where love cannot exist. Ego is self-gratifying and prevents you from living the life you truly deserve. Learn to love yourself more.

“Pain and love cannot be in the same space. You can never love anyone in pain. You cannot truly love yourself in pain. The more pain you carry in your heart, the harder it becomes to love anyone including yourself.” ― Kemi Sogunle

This material is copyright protected. Ⓒ2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

This material was originally published on Kemi Sogunle’s Website.

Author's Bio: 

Kemi Sogunle is a certified professional coach (life and relationship expert), international speaker and multi-award-winning author. Kemi's mission in life is to support single men and women who are ready, to find who they are after a broken relationship or divorce, heal from their painful past experiences, learn to love themselves and develop positive and healthier relationship habits that will make their lives become better not bitter.

Books Published:
· Love, Sex, Lies and Reality
· Being Single: A State for the Fragile Heart
· Beyond the Pain