After a breakup it can be hard to even think about love for a while. In fact, love may be something that seems impossible when your heart is broken and aching. But one day you will want to find love again.

When you are ready to find love again use the following tips to your advantage. They will ensure that you don’t scare away potential love interests and they will get you back into the dating scene smoothly and effortlessly.

1. Don’t Be The Past You

Of course you don’t want to talk to your dates about your ex and all the things they did to hurt your heart, you probably know that already, but I’m talking about leaving the past in the past for yourself.

Your ex may have caused you to feel as though you are not a good kisser, talker, or even lover, and you may be holding those beliefs inside your head and becoming anxious over them. Try to remember that your past is just your past and you are not that person any longer. You can be a good kisser, talker, or lover now and you don’t have to tell yourself otherwise. And for the most part, anything your ex told you was out of spite or anger - it doesn't mean that what they said was true.

2. Don’t Be Needy

If you want to find love again and you are starting to feel that it is a mission of yours, then you will start to come across as being needy, and that’s not good. That will push (scare) away any potential love interests and cause you to become even more needy when they run away. Stay cool. Stay relaxed. And let love find you!

3. Don’t Find Love in Your Ex if It’s Not There

Sometimes after a breakup you can start to miss your ex and remember the good times and traits your ex had. You may forget about all the bad times you had together and how your ex didn’t treat you well in your relationship. This happens all the time.

Let me save you the double heartache with your ex. You will end up back together. It will be good for a while. And then you WILL break up again. Millions of people do it everyday! It doesn’t work if the issues that were there before are still there, and if you haven’t fixed the issues then they WILL still be there.

As hard as it may be, find love with someone new. Someone who doesn’t have the issues your ex did. The chances of you finding love that will last are much higher.

4.  Don’t Look For Someone Like Your Ex

If you are looking for someone who talked to you in that baby voice you liked or understood you when you ‘gave them a look’ then you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Your ex and you had a unique bond, one that you will probably not find with someone else. That’s why it was unique! They may have gotten you on a level that no one else can, but that doesn’t mean that someone else can’t get you on an even better level! Don’t expect certain things when you want to find love or you may be setting someone new up for failure.

5. Don’t Expect To Find Love

If you set yourself up with high expectations of finding love right now, because you want it, then you may get let down and start to get angry, hurt, or even depressed.

Love is something that is going to come when you are ready, not when you demand it. Expectations can often result in disappointment, and disappointment can result in giving up or heading back to your ex. Both of those situations would not be good.

So let love come to you and don’t put a time-line on it! Enjoy each and every day whether you have found love or not. You will be happier because of it!

Author's Bio: 

Remember that when you want to find love you don't always have to be actively looking, sometimes it will just find you!

Bellaisa is a writer for the Relationship Circle, a website with relationship advice for men and women on dating, intimacy, and relationship issues.