5 Things to Share with Your Partner

It seems like we are constantly being bombarded with things NOT to say to our partner. We have advice and guidance to help us not seem “needy” or “emotional”. We have rules for text back time frames and liking pictures on social media. But what about what TO DO? What about things that maybe we should be talking to our partner about?

Read on to learn 5 Things to Share with Your Partner in a relationship:

1. Admirable Quirks or Habits
Your partner may have little idiosyncrasies that get on your nerves- but they also have endearing quirks and cute habits. Those little things that your partner does that make you smile- the way they laugh, the way they always reach for your hand to hold, the way they always walk on the “street side” of the sidewalk- those are worth sharing! What are some little things that you love that your partner does?

2. What your current partner does well
Comparison is inevitable, especially early in a relationship. Sometimes we can find ourselves comparing our current partner to a former partner. Comparison is the thief of joy… how can you focus on communicating to your partner what they do well? How do they show up for you that makes your feel special or supported? By commenting on behavior we like, we are reinforcing it- and there is a better chance our partner will show up in that way more often.

3. How Much They Mean to you
Your friends and family may have an opinion about your partner- every one does. Sometimes it might feel like a good idea to share these concerns with your partner. A more helpful place to focus would be on how much your partner means to you and how they make you feel. What are you thoughts and feelings about your partner that you can share?

4. Supporting Passions and Goals
There is a balance and a line between supporting EVERY idea and passion and discerning which ones are aligned with your vision for your relationship. As long as goals or passions are not negatively affecting you, supporting your partner can help them feel loved and heard. You could even join in on some of their recreational passions- or help them create a vision board or strategy for achieving personal or professional goals. This will show your partner that you believe in them and their happiness.

5. Likes and dislikes in the bedroom
Exploring likes and dislikes in the bedroom could help you set boundaries and get your sexual needs met. We all come from different backgrounds and experiences when it comes to sex and intimacy- we need to teach out partner how to treat us in the bedroom. Approaching the topic in a “I like it when you” way can help encourage your partner to continue to do more of what you like.

With all the “what not to do in a relationship” out there- it can be difficult at times to know what is ok to say or do. Sometimes, we may need a professional to help guide us in the right direction. Maybe this means meeting with a relationship coach (Dr. Mae recommends Jessica Yaffa in the San Diego area) or therapist (Dr. Mae recommends Connected: Seen & Heard in the San Diego area). Maybe it means both of you do couples therapy together or take a relationship course. Building a well rounded relationship tool box can be helpful in the long run for a healthy, happy, and connected future.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Mae Casanova is a licensed clinical psychologist working out of the San Diego area of California. She specializes in young adults, adults and couples needing support and guidance through anxiety & mood disorders, substance abuse and transitional life stages.