Both sexes have to put up with their own set of dating rules outlining how they’re “supposed” to act when dating, but women have a much larger, and much sillier, laundry list of dating do’s and don’ts, nearly all of which have scarce basis in reality and will do little to nothing to help you find the relationship you want.
The path to love takes many twists, turns and forks, but I guarantee you won’t find the man you’re looking for if you follow any of these bits of advice.
1. Don’t have sex on the first date.
Listen, sex on the first date happens. It doesn’t always happen. Sometimes you don’t even kiss on the first date.
However, every once in a while, your date moves in the right direction and you and your man end up going way further than you expected.
It’s not that big a deal. It doesn’t make you a slut. If you use protection, sex on the first date isn’t any less safe than sex on the fifth date.
It's up to you to determine how long you wait to have sex.
A truly shocking number of dating do’s and don’ts for women revolve around policing your sexuality. Ignore them all.
2. Don’t date your “type.”
Another bit of absurd advice you need to start ignoring ASAP.
Is it a good idea to meet a variety of people early on in your dating life? Of course.
But it doesn’t take long until you realize what you like and what you don’t like in a partner, and after you’ve accumulated that information, it makes a whole lot of sense to date the type of man you know you’re most attracted to.
As long as your type can’t be described as “abusive douchebag,” there’s nothing wrong with dating variations on a theme.
3. Do make him do all the talking on the first date.
This is a nonsense power play that holds no place in a world where men and women aim for dating equality.
On some first dates you’ll carry the conversation and on others your man will.
And on many first dates the two of you will split the speaking/listening dynamic 50/50.
Making your man talk the whole time, giving him nothing to go on and providing him with as little information about yourself is frustrating and not alluring.
Pay attention to natural conversational flows and follow them accordingly.
4. Do keep things light and bright.
There’s some truth to this statement. Dates, especially first dates, should be fun.
But if your conversation goes some deeper places, don’t immediately backpedal or try and bluntly switch the talk back to your mutual love for “Jersey Shore.”
Sometimes people connect on a deep emotional level on a first or second date.
Sometimes really wonderful people just went through a significant experience they’re still processing.
Sometimes you can only explain your own life situation by explaining something deep that occurred to you in the past.
Stray toward the fun, but don’t pretend to be someone you’re not for fear your man wants nothing more than a life-sized Malibu Barbie doll.
5. Do Google him beforehand.
The more you learn about your man before going out with him, the less you’ll have to learn firsthand.
Enable surprise and spontaneity by learning all about your man the old-fashioned way.
Getting to know someone and their past slowly, gradually, organically and at a sane, human pace is a lost art. No wonder we experience so many dating problems these days!
Cynthia oversees content strategy, social media engagement and media opportunities for DatingAdvice.com. She holds a B.S. in Journalism from the University of Florida and serves as the site's general manager and editor.
Post new comment
Please Register or Login to post new comment.