A look at marriages today world over, you will observe high rates of divorce and marriage failures. In our society today, just as new marriages are springing up; many older marriages are parking up in failures. So, if I should ask, “what is the current state of your own marriage? Is your marriage what it should be or are you risking the failure of your marriage?

If you look at some marriages, you will surely observe that some of these marriages are stage managed, instead of some couples enjoying their marriages to the fullness, they are enduring their marriages for a while before it totally collapses or fail. So in this post, we shall be looking at the major causes of marriage failures and how couples could prevent the failure of their marriages.

Entering marriage contract with a wrong mindset: Today, if you look at some failed marriages, you will observe that the cause of the failures of those marriages is that couples involved in those marriages entered the marriage relationships with a wrong mindset and attitude.

Stop manipulating your spouse: Secondly, as a result of these wrong mindsets and attitudes, instead of relating to their spouses based on who she or he is, they are doing everything possible to manipulate their spouses to get that ideal husband or wife that they have in their mindset. They are having their mindset on an ideal husband or wife that would be doing their bidding.

So marriage failures result when these couples try without success to manipulate their spouses to get the kind of husband or wife in their mindsets. That is why you hear such comments as “oh the reason we are having crises in our marriage is because my husband or wife refuse to change”. That change they are expecting was for their spouses to yield to their manipulation.

If only spouses will stop manipulating their partners and start to relate to their spouses based on who he or she is, rather than who they expect or wish that their spouses are. You see, there is harmony in a marriage relationship when couples start relating with each other based on who their spouses are and not what they wish or expect him or her to be.

If you are currently undergoing crises in your marriage, are you sure that the cause of those crises is not the result of one or both of you trying to manipulate each other. If not, stop the changes you are expecting to see in your spouses and try to change yourself. If you will change your mindset and attitudes, you will surely see that the crises will equally stop.

Another major cause of marriage failure is selfishness: Some couples are so selfish that the only reason they entered into that marriage relationship is the sake of what they expect to get and not what to give out. That calls for the reason they always insist on having his or her way in every issue in their marriage.

The couples in marriages that succeed beyond measures are couples who understand each other and are living a life of 'give and take' in their marriage. But if, as a result of selfishness, one or both couples are not ready or willing to give out but only expect to receive, such marriages never last but ends in failures.

You always see such couples cite the cause of their marriage as “irreconcilable differences”. You will observe that irreconcilable differences arise as a result of couples always insisting on having his or her ways on issues.

The fourth major cause of marriage failure is because couples failed to head the biblical instruction: These instructions can be seen in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” verses 28 “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself”; also Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them”

On the other hands, 1st Peter 3:1 “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives”. You see, in these passages, GOD instructed that men should love their wives and wives should be submissive to their husband.

In marriages in which husbands fail to love and cherish their wives dearly and the women fail to respect and submissive to their husbands, such marriages never last as it will surely end in marriage failures. As a man, are you sure that you love and cherish your wife dearly and unconditionally and as a woman, are you sure you respect and submissive to your husband?

In conclusion, if couples will change their wrong mindset and attitude they have about marriage if couples will stop manipulating their spouses as well as deal ruthlessly with selfishness in them. Also, if husbands could love and cherish their wives and if wives are submissive to their husbands, such marriages will never fail but they will enjoy a successful marriage.

Author's Bio: 

Hi!, my name is Ugwu Vincent, peers call me Vinco. Today, people have come to know and call me by the name ‘Princevinco’, a username I used some time ago in a forum.

Princevinco is a Chartered Accountant by Profession but ventured into blogging to be sharing the articles GOD is inspiring me to write on the net.

Finally, I wish that you know something, that is "the level of your commitment to your spouse and marriage determines the level in which you enjoy your marriage". Also, "your marriage is as good or bad as the way you make it". You may read more interesting and educative articles by visiting http://www.evergreenmarriage.com . Shalom.