An emotional affair is a situation that is not often addressed when discussing problems that can come up in a marriage.

In today’s world, in which men and women work together day-in and day-out, it is very common for one partner to form a close bond with a co-worker.

This bond can often be very much like a marriage, and very strong emotional attachments can form. This can be unsettling to a wife and destructive to a marriage if it is not handled with a great deal of poise and diplomacy.

What can you do to smooth out the roller coaster caused by emotional cheating and manage the situation with maturity and poise?

Here are a few of the real dangers of your spouse's emotional affair, along with some common sense ways to manage them.

I: Loss Of Well-Being: Take Care of Your Own Body, Mind And Spirit

Weathering an emotional affair can cause physical symptoms. Worry over your spouse’s emotional intimacy and attachment to another may cause…

… loss of appetite
… sleep disturbances,
… and even bouts of nausea.

You may feel as if you are on an emotional roller coaster, having to compete for the affections of the person who has vowed to “cleave only unto” you.

Take good care of yourself! You deserve it!

Just because your spouse is engaging in an emotional affair and neglecting you doesn’t mean you have to neglect yourself.

Do things that will help you feel good about yourself and will lift your spirits such as:

  • eating well
  • getting plenty of exercise
  • taking pampering baths
  • visiting a spa
  • enjoying good books and movies
  • and spending time with your own friends.

After all, doing all of those things will help you to be attractive and relaxed and just the sort of person others (such as your spouse) enjoy spending time with.

... Expand your spiritual horizons with meditation, prayer, spiritual reading and/or walks in nature.

... Do the things that bring you in touch with your deepest and most contented self and that nurture the Spirit in you.

Remember, when you pray or meditate that gratitude for the good things in life will bring you a greater sense of calm and satisfaction than begging for things you wish to be.

You are the only person you can change, so use your prayer and meditation time to improve yourself rather than seeking to influence your partner in his choices regarding an emotional affair.

II: Rash Decisions: Avoid A Knee-Jerk Reaction to The Emotional Affair

When your spouse is having an emotional affair, it is easy to feel betrayed by the closeness he or she feels with another outside of your marriage.

You may feel that the intimacy shared is the equivalent of emotional adultery in that the level of closeness is something you feel should be reserved only for you, and this may cause you a great deal of anxiety and unrest.

You may even feel a tremendous need to escape!

Chill! When your spouse is engaged in what you consider to be emotional adultery, it is not the right time to deliver ultimatums or make final decisions.

A marriage is made up of many decades of ups and downs. It is a long process of learning and growing to know and trust one another.

If you are not being physically, verbally or emotionally abused, abide and keep your own promises, even if you feel your spouse is not keeping his.

Be honest, but not strident, about your feelings. Remember, you are the one with the ring and the commitment. Chances are your spouse’s infatuation will blow over.

III: Isolation: Don’t Weather Emotional Adultery Alone

It’s hard to pinpoint an emotional affair. Many people may not take you seriously if you describe your spouse’s emotional attachment to another; however, emotional infidelity can be just as damaging and painful as physical infidelity.

Share your situation with a trusted friend, relative, a counselor, clergy member and/or support group that will truly offer support.

Don’t give in to the temptation to complain bitterly and gossip about your spouse’s emotional affair with no clear, positive goal in mind.

Of course, you feel betrayed and you may feel a loss and have a need to mourn; however, you should also remain positive and communicate with others in a way that allows you to positively continue rather than being destructive to your relationship.

Remember that if you develop negative relationships with others in an attempt to gain support, you too, are practicing emotional infidelity.

IV: Projection: Don’t Cast The Object of The Emotional Affair as The Cause of All Your Troubles!

Emotional cheating of this type can cause chaos in a marriage and riddle the partner who feels left out with a combination of anger and guilt.

In the long-term, this in itself can be very destructive. It may become easy to blame every problem in the marriage and in life on your partner’s emotional affair with another and on that person. This will only complicate matters and cause dealing with other problems to become much more difficult.

Remain confident! There is nothing more attractive than a confident, self-assured woman. Chances are, the stronger and more self-confident you are, the less emotional cheating will affect you, and the sooner it will pass.

Let your husband know that you care about and love him. Ask sincerely about the well-being of his special friend. Make it clear that you know your position and have complete confidence in it.

Emotions, passions, infatuations and emotional infidelity may come and go within the life of a marriage. Commitment is a decision you make again and again.

The fact that your husband can count on you to choose to honor your commitment and to remain interested in him and his life should ultimately mean much more to him than a passing fancy.

If you play it right, the object of your husband’s emotional affair will eventually become a distant memory.

Author's Bio: 

C Mellie Smith specializes in providing her readers with tools and resources to help them overcome the pain and uncertainty when one partner cheats, whether that is an emotional affair or a physical one. Get started on your healing journey by visiting her Infidelity Healing blog