For some people, letting their partner know when they want to have sex turns into a big problem. They seem to only ask their partner for sex in one way all the time, no matter what is going on in their partner’s life. So it’s no wonder that when they ask for sex, they end up with a big, fat NO!
Here are 3 easy ideas that you can start using right away to get your partner to say a great big YES to having sex more often.
1. Don’t wait until you’re between the sheets to ask your partner to make love. Half the time, by the time your partner is in bed, they really are tired and ready to go to sleep. Sure, by asking straight out earlier in the evening, you risk rejection. But you can make your suggestion sexy or romantic. At least if you ask when your partner is fully awake, you give your partner a chance to negotiate with you for a better time if they are going to be too tired that night.
2. Be affectionate for the sake of affection at times other than when you want sex. Really, some people like to have a constant reminder that you are lovers so that when it comes time to make love, it isn’t awkward and they don’t feel used just to fulfill your needs when you want sex. Also, some people need a lot of warming up in the form of cuddling, hugging, snuggling, and kissing.
3. Ask your partner what is going to make them more willing to say yes to you. Keeping in mind that good communication is key, ask your partner what they would like you to do to help them get in the mood. A glass of wine? A new toy? A different time of day? You taking a shower? Letting them nap for 20 minutes in the early evening? Keep in mind that it may change from time to time, so check in once in awhile to keep the lovemaking flowing!
As you can see, you don’t need to sneak up on your partner when they get between the sheets. And, if you work on relationship in-between the times you do have sex, you are more likely to get the sex you want.
Sex therapist, psychologist, and author Dr. Stephanie Buehler helps many couples at The Buehler Institute. Visit the Institute website to download a free copy of Dr. Buehler’s ebook, “Sexual Discoveries, 25 Secrets for Incredible Sex.”
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