Covert Emotional Manipulation can be crazy-making. It is often subtle, intermittent and doesn't come with any warning signs early on.

It is often after many months or years, you may begin to "catch on" that you are being covertly emotionally manipulated! You may begin to doubt your perceptions (from being Gaslighted), you may feel confused and confounded more often and you may feel unhinged and off balance. Covert Emotional Manipulators create a false sense of security and like to have you in their clutches. This way they can gain the upper hand to your thinking. And that thinking, of course, is to have you bend to their wishes.

Manipulators often are after control, power, and dominance in relationships. They often appear sincere and trustworthy in the beginning stages in order to create an aura of honesty and attachment.

Covert Manipulation can occur in all types of relationships. Work-related, romantic, family and friendships.

Since so many of us will encounter them at one time or another, it's important for you to prepare yourself on how to deal with these toxic individuals.


ONE. KNOW THY BOUNDARIES. Everyone loves flattery and feeling special but know when it is over the top. Don't be so easily swayed by props, words, gestures that place your guard in a one-down position. You must enforce your boundaries by stating them clearly and backing them up to protect yourself. Draw your line in the sand and let someone's trustworthiness unfold over time.

TWO. TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT. Your intuition is your protective shield. Listen to it. Don't let someone else, especially someone you don't know well tell you what you should think or feel.

THREE. NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE, LEARN TO SAY IT AND MEAN IT. Stop being a "yes" person to the things you do not want to say or do. Take charge of your life and don't let others dictate your wishes and desires. A compromise is an option only when you are dealing with someone who has your best interest at heart. Pay attention to that.

By learning that your voice matters and speaking up when you feel uncomfortable are paramount to not becoming a victim. Covert Manipulators get away with control and power because so many people "let them". Stand your ground.

Even strong, psychologically swank people can get involved with Covert Emotional Manipulators. If you are tired of being manipulated, walk away from the victim mentality and stay strong. The manipulator will either begin to have more respect for you or will walk. Either way, you will end up a winner!

Author's Bio: 

Laney Zukerman, The Relationship Coach, and Author has been featured in Psychology Today, Bustle, Redbook, Reader's Digest, Fashion Beans, Bride's, Forbes, NextonScene and dozens of media publications.

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