2 Months After Breakup: It's Been Two Months After A Breakup, It Still Hurts
A lot of times we feel that to reverse a break up we need to go on this hounding trip and once we are done begging our ex will reconsider his decision. But that never works. So if you want to convince your ex to get back with you here is what you need to do.
Don't try to push your ex
Firstly, don't try to push your ex. The idea is to make your ex want to get back with you. Forcing him/her or trying to talk to him/her is not going to help. Also pleading and begging and emotional blackmailing is going to backfire badly. So take it easy and get a hold of your emotions.
Give your ex some space
Give your ex some space to get over his discomfort and anger of you. Since he/she called it off he/she will not want to see your face for a little while. So go off his/her radar for a while till the anger wears off and he/she begins to miss you.
Look like you are moving on
When your ex is over hating you, you need to show him/her that you are moving on. Show him/her that you have a life outside of him/her and that you are enjoying yourself. Stop moping completely and get seen in places where you can meet someone.
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Start talking to your ex
Once your ex is sure that you are moving on he/she will begin to wonder more and more about you. When this inquisitiveness rises you need to make a call and talk to your ex. Be casual and tell him/her that you would like to meet to simply put the past differences behind.
Show him/her how sorry you are
When you meet you need to tell your ex that you are really sorry that you hurt them. Apologize truly for your mistakes and tell them that you would like to put the past differences behind and eventually be friends again. It's the friendship that you value and you are happy for them no matter who they are with.
Rekindle the friendship
Rekindle your lost friendship first and this way show your ex how much you have really changed. Make sure that you two have a good time together. Strike the camaraderie that you shared before your break up so that all around you get talking.
Exhibit the qualities that your ex liked
Work on your ex's psyche so that he/she wants to get back with you once again by exhibiting the qualities that he fell for initially.
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It can be difficult sometimes to provide support and advice for people who have just come out of a long relationship because each person has a different way to cope with things. Once we understand that this feeling of intense sorrow and depression will not last then we can begin to overcome things and see the positive way to deal with a breakup. One thing to keep in mind is that not all relationship breakups are the romantic kind and even breakups with close or longtime friends can cause a lot of emotional pain as well.
In the first day of two after a breakup we struggle to understand what has happened and acceptance of the situation has not yet set in. This is what some professionals may call the protest stage. In this situation it is vital to understand how to deal with things as intense emotions such as anger, rage, hatred and strong love are high and you are vulnerable to these feelings. Studies have shown that men tend to focus their negative emotions into physical aggression leading them to have outbursts and potentially hurting themselves as a result. This is why you need to understand how to deal positively with a breakup so as to avoid getting yourself and others hurt.
A positive way to direct this intense aggression is to do some form of physical activity. Join the gym and take your emotions out on their equipment and get that heart pumping. What you are aiming to do here is to tire yourself out by doing something physical and that way you are reducing tension and the pent-up anger you feel.
After a breakup women tend to feel the need to cry a lot and it has been shown that many women actually feel relief after a good crying session. What we all need at this point, men and women, is to let all the pent-up emotion out in the open as this will make you feel a lot lighter and more positive to move forward with the steps to getting back on the right track and ultimately getting over your breakup.
Once a month has passed since the breakup you should start to feel like your old self again and at least feel happy for some of the time. This is a stage where you are more likely to actually want to contact your ex and see how they are. Another thing to take up at this point in time is a diary or journal of how you are feeling day-to-day. This allows you to maintain positive thoughts even if your ex-partner doesn't want to meet with you.
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Women tend to blame themselves for what went wrong in their relationship and normally they feel this way because they are lonely. When these feelings occur we begin to miss out ex a lot more and start to entertain the thought of getting them back. This may not be the best thing for you to do right at this moment as you are still feeling vulnerable and upset. It's best in this situation to have no contact at all with your ex as trying to become friends again too soon can lead to trouble down the road.
It is important that you continue to keep in mind the good things that you have in your life as we all feel the need to blame ourselves for everything that went wrong. Never let yourself think that you don't deserve to be happy and continue to remind yourself of the good qualities that you have. Don't let this breakup bring you down to the point where you are hating yourself for things that you had no control over. The relationship is over now so you have to overcome it, and it is entirely possible that you will come out the other end happier and healthier than when you were in the relationship.
Six months after the breakup is often known to the professionals as the graduation stage. At this point people begin to truly accept the breakup and even some start to think about seeing other people and going on more dates. You will know that you are dealing well with the breakup because you'll realize that at no point in the past week had you thought about your ex. This means that you are positively prepared to move on with your life and have succeeded in learning to deal with this breakup positively.
It is said that men tend to have the ability to feel more emotionally calm faster than some women and because of this they are the ones who start back on the dating scene sooner. This is why it is recommended that women avoid contact with their ex partners until they feel emotionally calmer and feel ready to date again. Women tend to give themselves a tougher time and feel that they want closure. This is setting them back from truly feeling settled and positive about the future because their ex is still constantly at the forefront of their mind. The situation of six months ago is still playing with a woman's emotional well-being leading her to do things because of her ex-boyfriend and not for herself.
Ultimately, when dealing with a breakup the most effective thing is to give yourself time to heal. Unfortunately, it is a hard path to go down after a breakup, but you must keep in mind that this won't last forever and there will be a time that you won't have the same feelings towards the situation as you do now. So, during this time make sure to do things that make you happy and takes your mind off of the sadness and eventually you will see yourself on the right road to getting over your ex.
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Studies have shown that going through the trauma of a break up is one of the most difficult things a person can experience. One day you are happy, hopelessly in love, convinced that you have found the perfect person, and suddenly your whole world comes crashing down around your feet. Something goes drastically wrong and your euphoric world is no more. As hopeless as this leaves you feeling though, do understand that there are ways to make your ex fall in love with you again.
The one thing that will cancel out any chances of reuniting with your ex is if you beg and plead to be taken back. This is so unattractive and will show your ex that you are a weak pathetic person not worthy of being in a meaningful relationship. So, if you want to succeed and make your ex fall in love with you again, forget about doing this - totally.
What you must concentrate on now is how you are going to make yourself so appealing to your ex that it will actually make your ex fall in love with you again, possibly to beg YOU to take him/her back again. Just how do you do this? You need to get out of your state of depression as quickly as possible, go out with your friends and have some fun. Put your ex on hold for a while - there is time enough to make your ex fall in love with you again.
In this time that you are away from your ex, make every possible effort to get yourself looking and feeling as great as you can. This will automatically lift your spirits and give you a more positive air about yourself. You will become happier and a lot more confident as well. This will result in people being drawn to you and you will suddenly become VERY popular. This is the very thing that will make your ex fall in love with you again and realize what a huge mistake it was to break up with you.
There are many people attracted to you right now, and this will make your ex realize that, unless he/she does something very soon, there is a chance that you could become involved with someone else.
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You have to admit that once you break up with your partner, it is your heartfelt desire to speak your heart out so that your ex knows exactly how you feel and how badly you want him or her back. If you want to get your ex back successfully, then you might be surprised to know that the best strategy is to maintain silence. Although, the scenario is paradoxical you have to understand its importance.
Boys and girls who go through a breakup for the first time do not have a clue as to how they should react to such a difficult situation. Experience tells us that those who become impatient and communicate to their ex partners end up doing more damage than before.
Your first line of action should be to stop ringing up your ex's phone a dozen times a day, because naturally it will upset your ex partner. Immediate phone calls after a breakup can only lead to further friction between you and your ex, which you can't afford.
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The key here is to understand what message you will be transmitting to your ex by refusing to contact him or her. For starters, your ex will feel surprised and after a while this surprise can even turn into panic. Strange thoughts will pass through your ex's mind about you. And soon enough your ex will be convinced that if he or she doesn't make the move, then you might start off a new life with someone else.
Rather than asking yourself, "How can I get my ex back?" you need to consider if it was your fault that caused the breakup and how you can redeem yourself. In this case, giving some time to your ex is justified as it will help your ex forget your mistakes.
On the other hand, if your ex was the sole architect of the breakup, still it is a good idea to get off the scene for a few weeks so that your ex can start missing you again. Silence can be a great tool that can quickly patch up broken relationships, only if you give it a chance.
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