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I grew up poor in a wealthy neighborhood and since then I always yearned to be successful. To find out how I could manage it, I understand quite a number of books that talked about how we could be more successful. I conformed to what those books told me, but the results were not like what the books said.

The books advised that when going after what you want, you should proceed with a full head of steam. This will make others “bend to your will.” Abiding by this advice did not earn me more successful. It had an opposite effect. I burned bridges with others, alienated them and ultimately did not get what I wanted from the situation. I continued reading books for years, following what they said, looking for answers but still I did not get the results I longed for. Then one day I decided I have had enough. Maybe it wasn’t me and those experts who wrote all those books were wrong. Next thing I did was throw away all those books I read and started being myself. I admitted to others things I didn’t know and asked help when I needed it. I became more open, more honest and possessed more integrity. I showed genuine interest in what others were doing and stopped expecting others to be interested in what I was doing.

What came next was surprising for me. People started feeling more comfortable around me. They did things for me without me asking for it. I, in turn began feeling more confident. I began liking myself more. This never happened when I was following those books I read.
I realized then that there was ONE SINGLE DIFFERENCE between what I was presently doing, with what “they” had told me to do. And I realized that ONE SINGLE DIFFERENCE could be stated in a phrase consisting of just 11 letters. I asked myself, “What is the SINGLE reason why a person or business fails?” The answer came to me immediately. “The single reason a person or business FAILS is FOCUS ON SELF.”

This is what I had practicing all those years while following those books I had been reading. We focus all our energies on what we want, what we need. Yes we all want something. We want more money, a better home, good health, a loving family. Now what do we do about it. We try to get others to see things like we do in turn we try to convince them to agree with us, buy from us so that we get what we want. Now does this method work? Frankly no it does not.

A mentor of mine shared with me these thoughts that I now want to share with you.
“People who are 100 times more successful than you are, are NOT 100 times smarter than you. Similarly, people who are 100 times more successful than you, don’t work 100 times HARDER or 100 times LONGER you do. That’s not possible either.
They aren’t 100 times more EDUCATED; nor, in the vast majority of cases, did they start with 100 times more MONEY than you had when you started.”

Success is not dependent on these things which we believe contributes to success but what it is dependent on is a change in STRATEGY. Doing something differently is present if we have a change in PERSPECTIVE. Simply put we cannot do things differently if we are not able to see the situation we are in, in a different way.

‘FOCUS ON SELF’ will never work, so what will? The answer is also 11 letters long.
“The single reason why a person or business SUCCEEDS is FOCUS OF SELF.”

To explain… We have unique gifts, talents, skills, knowledge, and abilities that we may not know of, acknowledge or appreciate.
We believe we do no have much and certainly not enough to be of value to others. Thus we “Focus ON Self” and try to acquire some self esteem from it, add to the fact this is what the experts keep telling us. We have gifts that want to be expressed. We don’t realize that others would value, welcome and most of all appreciate the gifts that we have to share. Others, would even gladly pay to receive the gifts that you have.

Author's Bio: 

Noah St. John is famous for inventing Afformations® and creating high-impact, customized strategies for fast-growing companies and leading organizations around the world.

His sought-after advice is known as the "secret sauce" to creating breakthrough performance.

As a highly in-demand speaker, Noah’s humorous and entertaining approach always hits the mark with audiences. His keynote speeches are described as dynamic and life-changing, and his in-depth workshops and seminars have been called “mandatory for anyone who wants to succeed in business.”

He also appears frequently in the news worldwide, including ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, National Public Radio, Parade, Woman’s Day, Los Angeles Business Journal, The Wash