Embrace Change

“The only constant thing in life is change” I don’t remember when was the first time I heard that, yet I clearly recall that I did not like it at first. Now I realize that I was not alone and that that feeling of resistance towards change is a natural reaction. As humans we tend to like the known and predictable. Why do people resist change? Why is it so hard to accept that change can be good?
I believe that it is important to recognize that change is inevitable; things around us will change whether we like it or not. Being able to adapt to the changing circumstances not only will allow us to be more flexible and understanding to those around us, but will also place us in a position of choice where we are actually learning from the situation and open to see what is good about it. On the other hand, some of us often associate change with a loss. Whether we are losing knowledge, status, or a privilege; change creates a need to do things in a different way and very often; we don’t like it. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the phrase “if it ain’t broke, why change it?” and truth is I don’t promote change, just for the sake of changing. However, over the course of life I’ve also come to appreciate the fact that whenever I’ve had to change something in my life; it has been a learning experience:

 First of all, I learn about myself; what’s in this situation that makes me anxious or nervous? What skill set do I need to adopt that will enable me to manage this well? What do I not have that I need in order to manage?
 I also learn about the surroundings and environment. Why is this change being proposed? What was happening before that necessitated a change? What is going to be different as a result?
When I look back, I know that I have resisted some changes in my life. Nonetheless, every time I overcame a challenging situation, I discovered that I had the strength and the wisdom to do it. I learned that I had a great level of untapped potential and when I freed myself to see the truth of the situation; I was able to grow and to actually enjoy the end results.

Tips to adapt to change:
1. Analyze your beliefs around the situation; are there any self-limiting beliefs preventing you from seeing the good here?
2. Focus on what you are able to do. You might not have all the tools or skills needed to implement the change but go to those that you do have; and start planning how to get the ones you need. i.e. more training to get the certification? getting up earlier to make it according to the new schedule?
3. Don’t anticipate the worse. Believe that most people act in good faith and stop worrying about things that may not happen, ever.
4. Assess the situation carefully; if after analyzing the situation carefully you realize that you are not up for it; you may need to remove yourself from the situation. Still, you will come out victorious as you are in control of the decisions you are making.
5. Remember that there are always choices; if nothing else you have a choice over how you react to the situation and whether you allow it to affect you in a negative way.
6. Take action. Action is the best course of action when facing a change. Staying stagnant (not doing something is the same as agreeing to staying stuck) will not resolve the situation.

So, how do you manage change now? Do you resist? Do you fight, get angry? Or do you stop for a second and analyze the true impact and significance of the change? I think that one of those powerful concepts here is to understand what is causing the resistance. We might be afraid. Afraid of not being good enough, of not having what it takes. Maybe not being confident about our ability to survive the change is that causes the rejection to change. Either way, when confronted with change I’d say that before reacting in any way; it is advisable to come to terms with our own feelings, values and behaviors and see the change as an objective, neutral party. When some of that emotional is removed and we can see the situation with clear glasses; we can typically walk away with a better concept or ourselves and with a positive outlook about the future. In essence, remember that you are not a victim of the circumstances, you have a voice, you have options and you can embrace the change knowing that at the end you will grow becoming a better you. Get out there, embrace change and show everyone that you have what it takes. You can do it!
If you are struggling with changes in your life; if you are not sure whether you have what it takes or don’t know how to take the next steps; life coaching might be for you.

© 2010 Maria Martinez